


River's little secret

by Greenmonster



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Beatings in later chapters, Gen, Stormcage Containment Facility
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2019-10-05 08:45:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 34
Words: 37,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17321738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenmonster/pseuds/Greenmonster
Summary: River has a secret that she has shared with no one. Not even the Doctor. Once it gets out that she has a teddy bear, what will the guards think? Most importantly, what will the Doctor think?





	1. River's little big secret

**Author's Note:**

> This thought just popped into my head, so I thought I might as well share it. Please try to be kind with your comments, I don't mind constructive criticism. This is my first time writing anything for someone else to read.

I do not own Dr Who or any of the characters. 

 

River Song sat on her cot writing in her journal. The guards didn't mind her journal anymore, as far as they were concerned, it was a safe activity that kept her quiet. The writing made their jobs easier, keeping the headaches at bay for the most part. River was in the middle of a page when the guard called " fifteen minutes to lights out. " River rolled her eyes, but put her journal away, and started to get ready.  
Once she was done, she got under the blanket, and waited for the lights to dim. When she was sure no guard was around, she reached into her pillow case, and pulled out a teddy bear. It looked like it had seen better days: the stuffing has been loved flat, the brown fur was wearing off, only one eye remained, and the little red jacket had unraveled some years ago. No matter how tattered it got, River still loved it. She had received the bear from her parents, Rory and Amy on the first birthday they had spent together as a family. She had cherished it ever since. The only reason she couldn't tell anyone was that she was embarrassed. Yes, River Song, the most feared inmate in all of Stormcage history, was embarrassed by a toy bear. If word got out, she would be the laughing stock of the entire prison! The guards would laugh and pick on her, they might even take it away. She would be called a baby, and humiliated for the rest of her sentence. She couldn't let that happen! Not now, not ever.  
Even the Doctor didn't know, she made sure of that right away. Not that he would have minded, but he would want her to keep it on the TARDIS where it would be safe. River couldn't risk that happening. So, the bear stayed with her. That is until it didn't.

One morning,after a great trip with the Doctor, River had just fallen asleep when the guards woke her for the day. She was so tired she didn't even notice that her teddy bear had fallen off her cot. When she got back to her cell, she most certainly noticed. Especially when one of the guards showed it to her. " You dropped this. " said the female guard at the cell door.  
River was embarrassed beyond belief, she even started to cry. " Don't be upset, it's alright, all the guards know. " " They do? " sniffled River. "Of course they do. They have found it during shake downs and everyone has seen you hug it in your sleep. There is nothing to be ashamed of, everyone needs comfort sometimes." The guard smiled at her and handed the bear back. River wiped her eyes , held out her hand, and said " I am River Song,what might your name be? " The guard answered " my name is Andrea Simpkins. It is very nice to meet you. I will be your main guard from now on. "


	2. The Doctor's bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River thinks her secret is safe from the Doctor. At least she thinks she is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No sex in this story. Sorry to disappoint. Just a lot of fluff.

Now that River knew the guards didn't mind her bear, she no longer stashed it under her pillow, but placed on her cot instead. In the meantime, she got to know officer Simpkins a little bit better. She was surprised they had so much in common. Both liked to play card games, and read books on history. They hated being told what to do, and, most importantly, both liked the Doctor's visits. ( River liked them a lot more than Simpkins obviously.)

When River was making her cot, she noticed her bear needed a bath. Because of how much love it had been getting over time, a bath was most certainly in order. But she would need to be careful, and that was almost impossible in Stormcage. No, she needed the TARDIS, the only place that would be gentle enough to care for it.

But.....how could she clean it and hide it from the Doctor at the same time? She would just have to risk it. The next time the Doctor came, she was ready, the bear safely tucked into a pocket of her cargo pants. She hoped he was taking her some place fun, where she could get dirty and run from something dangerous while the bear was washing. River was in for a suprise!

"Honey, I'm home!" Called a woman's voice. River was confused, was the Doctor playing a trick on her? Or was it another woman? She didn't have to wait long to find out. A blonde haired woman stepped out of the TARDIS, scaring River so much she tripped over her own shoes. Simpkins looked like she had seen a ghost. She had seen many incarnations of the Doctor, but THIS one was something else. She thought the Doctor could only be male, apparently she was wrong. "Hello,my love," the Doctor said. "are you ready for an adventure?" River found her voice and said " Who are you and what have you done with my husband?!? " The Doctor was take aback, " How can you not know me? We have been married for ages! How.do you not...OH! I forgot, I changed bodies again! Yes, it's me your husband er wife. I guess I should have written you about the change. Are you ready to go have fun? " River just nodded her head and followed the Doctor into the TARDIS, leaving poor Simpkins looking like she might faint.

Once inside the TARDIS, River asked every question she could think of until the Doctor said "Enough River! You are giving me a headache! I need to concentrate" So River was quietly contemplating how to wash her bear without the Doctor seeing. Now was as good a time as any. She walked to the bathroom and asked the TARDIS if it could carefully wash her toy. Of course the TARDIS was thrilled to help her child. It took her to a laundry room and helped her start the process. She put it in place and soon the TARDIS was gently cleaning it.

"After a long tussle with some alien species she could never learn to pronounce, a shower and nap were in order. River slept quite soundly and woke refreshed. She wondered what was going on, the TARDIS was silent and still. River went out to find the Doctor sitting in a chair sewing of all things! Sewing an eye onto a certain teddy bear! "I hope you don't mind me replacing the eye on your bear. Poor thing has seen better days, I thought you kept him in your cell, why bring him here?" River was surprised , " How do you know where I keep my bear? How do you know I even have one? " The Doctor looked up in suprise, " Everyone has a teddy bear don't they? At least, I still have mine. Let's see, Fixit has been with me since I was five. I have no idea why I called him that, but he has always been there for me. Never left my side not even when" the Doctor rambled on about something but River didn't hear it. " She has a bear, the Doctor has a bear. " Sweetheart, are you listening? " the Doctor asked. " I'm sorry what? " " I asked you why you hid this from me? Were you ashamed of it? Because if you were, it's alright. I would never want you to feel ashamed about anything. " "No Doctor, I am not ashamed of you finding it. I thought you would want me to keep it on the TARDIS, and not in Stormcage where I need him." " Why River, I would never try to do that! He is your friend, and in a place like Stormcage i should think you need him most of all! Your parents gave him to you didn't they? " River nodded, sniffling , wiping away tears. "Come here my love" the Doctor said pulling River into her lap, and wiping away her tears. " See, all fixed" holding up the bear for River to see. It looked just like it had when it was new. " The TARDIS works magic on teddy bears, mine has been done at least two or three hundred times, let's get you back to your cell and Officer Simpkins. " River nodded before hugging the Doctor tightly.

That night, as River climbed between the sheets, hugging Doggy tightly and smelling the lilac scent. She snuggled right down on her cot. Before she fell asleep, Simpkins said " Good night, River, I'll see you in the morning. My shift is ending, but I have a feeling you will like the night guard. Donna Noble is a good friend of the Doctor's too. So no shenanigans alright? " But River didn't hear she had fallen fast asleep. Donna just smiled, watching the woman who was considered the most dangerous woman in the universe sleep holding a teddy bear made her realize that she was watching a person; someone with feelings, with thoughts, needs, wants, dreams. Monsters didn't have any of those. 'Maybe this would be easy,' Donna thought to herself. Boy, was she really wrong!


	3. A very bad day ( or a lesson in problem solving )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River has a bad day, will she break her promise to the Doctor and cause mayhem? Or will she learn that there are other ways to deal with a bad day?

Donna's first night guarding River was uneventful. Watching River sleep was rather boring, but at least the Doctor's mind was at ease. If she was okay with Donna watching her wife all night, then Donna was okay too. with nothing to report, she handed River back to Simpkins saying " Nothing happened, she didn't so much as get a drink of water. I have no clue why the Doctor needs someone to personally watch her all night. " Simpkins simply smiled and said, "Oh she has a reason alright. Neither of us would be doing this if it wasn't necessary. " Simpkins blew her whistle and said " Rise and shine, River, Rise and shine! " River was not happy to be woken up by anybody, even the Doctor knew this. And today she was being roused by a guard, Simpkins no less! It wasn't fair! She just wanted to sleep a little while longer. Simpkins walked into River's cell and yanked the pillow off of River's head. She growled at her but Andrea Simpkins was having none of it. "Come on River, time to get up." Simpkins had her by the collar of her shirt and pulled her up. " I don't want to get up! " She snapped. "Watch it, River!" Said the young guard. "Now get up and grab your things for your shower, you'll feel better after you get ready for the day. River huffed and got ready for her shower. Maybe it would make her feel better.  
Once she was finished, she put on her clean uniform. It really was scratchy and stiff, it irritated her skin. This was why she didn't want to get out of bed, she just knew today would be bad. "I'm sorry about your uniform, I wish I could help but I have no access to the laundry room." Said Simpkins . "On a brighter note, I do have your breakfast. Oatmeal with raisins and some nice cold milk. Yummy! " River glared and said " It's the same thing every morning or have you not been paying attention these last two months? I don't want to eat! Im not hungry! " There was no way officer Andrea Simpkins was going to let River Song go hungry, not after what the Doctor said. "River, eat your breakfast! You promised the Doctor you would, and you don't want to break a promise to the Doctor do you?" River sighed "Fine, I'll eat my breakfast. River tried to gulp down the cold, grey mush they called oatmeal . "Stop eating so fast, you'll choke." Said Simpkins. River rolled her eyes and slowed down. She hated oatmeal! The taste, texture, even the look of the stuff, this was not food and whatever they called "raisins" were horrid and just made the oameal all that much worse. The milk was anything but, it was powdered and mixed with lukewarm water. Breakfast was miserable, and River was forced to eat it.  
The only thing worse than breakfast was lunch, and the absolute worst thing was supper! River didn't want whatever it was they called food, it looked bad and tasted worse. Lunch was inedible on a good day and supper was so bad, it made River actually feel for the cooks. But the one part that always made eating torture was that both were both served with Brussels sprouts. River HATED BRUSSELS SPROUTS! She tried everything to get out of eating them. Leaving them on her plate did no good, they were just returned to her. Flushing them down the toilet made the guards to stand over her and watch her eat. Hiding them found her in a blank concrete cell with not so much as a bucket to relieve herself in. That had been the worst six hours of her life, she spent four of them really needing to pee, and by the time they brought her back to her cell, she had almost wet herself. Those nasty green balls brought her nothing but misery. "Please, River, just one?" Simpkins begged at supper. River just pouted like a toddler and said "NO!" " I'm done playing this game, River, eat your food or go hungry. " River ate one. River was kicking the bars non-stop, making a horrible racket. "River, stop that please." Simpkins said. She complied, but Simpkins could tell something was wrong. She looked at River, finally catching her eyes. " Can I come in your cell please? " She asked. River sighed before saying "Okay." Simpkins entered and took a seat on the cot beside River. " You had a really bad day, huh? " River just nodded. " What happened and how do we make it better? " Simpkins asked. River broke down crying. " One of those "getting up on the wrong side of the bed" days. I know what those are like, I have them myself sometimes. You know what helps? Talking with someone about it, would you like to try it and see how it goes? " River just nodded her head and cried. Simpkins put her arm around her and said. " Whenever you're ready "  
Donna entered the corridor, walking towards the only cell there. Once she stopped in front of the open cell she noticed River was crying and Officer Simpkins was comforting her. "What is the matter with River? She's not sick is she?" Simpkins shook her head. "Just a bad day, she needs to talk about it with someone. " Donna understood, she had a fair share of them herself. Sitting on the other side of River, she handed a tissue over. " Thank you. " said River. She wiped her nose then started. " I don't like wake up time! It's too early. " "Well ", Simpkins said " I can't change the time, but I can be gentler waking you up. Would that help? " " Yes, I think it might. Thanks Simpkins. " "Anything else?" Asked Simpkins  
I don't like brand new uniforms they itch and hurt. I like my old washed ones. Feel this collar. " After touching the mateial both women agreed, something had to be done. " "Andrea," said Donna , " I know the captain rather well. I'll see what I can do about those uniforms. " Thank you, Donna, that would be great. " Simpkins said. "Anything else?" Both guards asked. " I noticed you don't want to eat at mealtimes. " Simpkins said. " Why is that? " "Oatmeal sucks! Powdered milk is awful, and I hate Brussels sprouts!" River exclaimed. "Well I don't blame you on that one, it really is horrid stuff. " Donna said. "Why didn't I think of this sooner, I know exactly what to do! You'll see tomorrow morning. Is there anything else? "Well," River said "There is one more thing. I don't like being watched while I go to the bathroom, or when I get dressed, or when I shower. I am not on display at a zoo." "That's true, maybe we can avert our eyes of move out of sight instead." "Good idea." said Simpkins. "Donna," River said with a smirk, do I have to go to bed at lights out ?" Donna rolled her eyes saying " You definitely do, and don't even think of trying anything, or I'll..I'll.....I'll take your teddy!" "You Monster! " River cried in mock horror. " Doggy hasn't done a thing!" This made them all burst out laughing. After Simpkins had left and Donna shut the cell door, when she looked between the bars she saw saw River getting ready for bed. "What? No hassle tonight?" "No," River said "I'm rather tired, and besides, I have to keep Doggy safe." "I would never really take him away from you. You know that, right?" " Donna, I know you wouldn't do that. Because I'd have to kick your butt then lock you in with me so I could keep kicking your butt. " Donna laughed at that. Once she stopped she turned down the lights, and said "River Song, you are going to keep me on my toes aren't you?"


	4. A spoonful of sugar and a nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What surprise does Simpkins have? How will the next day go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All you will find in this story is three people becoming friends. And maybe teaching River to be a little more respectful with the guards. Remember, she grew up with no parents, and has little regard for authority. And Simpkins is named after the cat in the book The Taylor of Gloucester by Beatrix Potter.

The next morning, Simpkins was a little more careful waking River up. " River, it's time to get up. " She called. "Come on River, out of bed." River rolled over and sat up. "That was much better, thank you Simpkins. Let me grab my stuff, and start the day." Simpkins averted her eyes while River showered and dressed. " Well, this is much better, a uniform that's been washed first, much more comfortable. " Simpkins was rather surprised River was being so amenable today, but she wouldn't hold her breath. This was only the start of the day and anything could happen. They had breakfast next, she hoped River would like her surprise.  
By the time River had finished her hair and teeth and while she was making her cot, adjusting Doggy in just the right way, the dreaded breakfast showed up. " Alright, River, here's your breakfast. " Simpkins opened the door to hand her the bowl. "One second, I almost forgot the surprise." Simpkins took a small packet from her pocket and poured the contents into the bowl before giving it a good stir. "Here you go. Enjoy your breakfast. If you sulk like yesterday, you will be eating it cold so I suggest you hurry up. Oh, and here is your milk, don't make that face, you might be surprised by it today." River brought her food over to the folding desk, and took a small bite of oatmeal . She was taken aback, this was actually.....good! Hot, creamy,and sweet. The milk was nice and cold, no horrid flavor, just milk. The next thing she knew, she had eaten her breakfast, and wouldn't have minded a little more. "You liked that, didn't ya?" Simpkins smirked. " See what happens when you eat your breakfast without sulking? It tastes better right?" It took River a good thirty seconds to find her voice " How did you do that? What did you put in my oatmeal to make it taste so good? " Simpkins smiled, "When I was little my mum used to put a little cinnamon sugar in my oatmeal. "Not too much, not too little" she would say. A small amount made all the difference, and eating without sulking for five minutes helps keep it hot. As for the milk, well, the kitchen changed suppliers a while back but they had to finish what they had in stock. The new brand is made to be cold and taste more like the real stuff. " River had a great big grin on her face, if she wasn't in her cell, she would have given Simpkins a hug.  
River sat at her desk journaling. Simpkins sat in her chair, taking notes and filling out paperwork. The pitter patter of gentle rain made the only sound. Suddenly, " achoo " River sneezed. Followed in rapid succession by three more. Simpkins looked up, got out of her chair, and went over to the cell. "River, are you feeling okay?" She asked, while feeling River's forehead through the bars. " I beel bine. " River said in a very stuffy voice, while pushing Simpkins hand away. "But River, you are burning up! Let me at least take your temperature," a worried Simpkins said. " bine, ib id will get you bout ob my hair, go ahead. " Simpkins got the medical bag from under her chair, and went into the cell. She took out a thermometer and placed it in River's mouth. " No talking for ten minutes, and I mean it! " Both women sat in silence, watching the clock on the other side of the bars. After the required ten minutes, Simpkins looked at the small glass tube and said: "River Song you are officially sick! Put down the journal and get in bed!" "No!" River said, but her heart wasn't in it. Simpkins took her hand and led her over to the cot. After tucking River in with an extra blanket, handing her the bear, and administering a dose of flu medicine, she left a very drowsy River to sleep.  
When all the forms had gone to the right people, the TARDIS showed up. The Doctor ran out the door and made straight for River's cell. River! She called, running to her wife. She easily picked the woman up and cradled her in her arms. Sitting down on the cot she rocked her wife and stroked her hair, speaking gently and softly. "It's alright River, I'm right here. I got you." River snuggled into the Doctor and slept. "What happened Simpkins? Will she be alright? " Simpkins stood in the doorway,and said: "River is sick, I gave her medicine, and put her to bed. While I was working, she had a nightmare. It must have been horrible, she was yelling for her mother, begging someone to stop doing something. It took me a while to wake her up, when I finally did, she just sobbed into my shoulder and fell back to sleep." The Doctor looked at Simpkins with a worried expression on her face. "That happens often when she is sick. I am sure you are aware of her past. I made sure they taught you all about her in your training." " Of course, Doctor. But not everything was covered in the manual, many things Donna and I have to learn as we go along. " "I know," said the Doctor, "I wanted some things left out for you to find out for yourselves. If you are ever assigned another inmate, I wanted you to be able to pick up on idiosyncrasies, that's why I placed you with River first. She maybe trying, but she is a good person very deep down inside. She just needs to be shown violence doesn't fix everything, talking things out can have a better outcome. She was never taught that, so she needs a teacher. That would be where you and Donna come in. She needs Amy, but Amy is dead. I have tried to teach her, but she doesn't care what I say on the matter. So it's up to you to be her friend, to teach her that her words go farther than her actions. " Simpkins told the Doctor about the food problems. "Ah, Brussels sprouts, River absolutely hates them. Good luck trying to get her to eat those. Now as for the oatmeal, good work, I never thought to do that! The back talk hasn't been too bad you say? Great! Yes I know she sucks her thumb in her sleep. I always found it rather cute. She throws her bear off the bed. Well, she does that with just about anything in the bed. She's tried to throw me a few times. You just have to leave the object on the floor, she'll find it if she wakes up. She should feel better in a few hours, but don't let her get out of bed until tomorrow. She will fight you tooth and nail on this, but stand your ground. The kitchen got your message, right? Okay, make sure she eats the noodle soup! Not just a bite, the whole bowl. I shall be back for River's birthday in about a month, I shall see you then." The Doctor gently placed River back on her bed, kissed her forehead, and said "Get well my love." She stepped into the TARDIS , and was gone.  
River slept most of the day, only waking up when Simpkins brought her supper. After finishing half the bowl of soup she said, " I don't think I can eat anymore, Officer Simpkins. " Simpkins just smiled and took the bowl saying "Well, it's not the whole bowl, but it's more than one bite, I don't think the Doctor will mind too much if you only eat half. Now back to bed with you! I have a book you can read if you want. " River looked surprised at the mention of the Doctor's name. " She was here? Today? When was this? " "Well, River, you were asleep, and when I sent the sick forms off, the Doctor got her's, and the next thing I know, there was a TARDIS here and a very worried Doctor. " Once Simpkins finished the story, River calmed down a bit, and went straight to bed. She tried reading , but her eyes grew heavy, and less than two pages in, River was fast asleep. When shift change came, Simpkins told Donna all about the day. "Wow! Andrea, you had quite a day! I'll be sure to keep those things in mind. Should anything change, I'll let you know. Enjoy your evening, Andrea, I'll see you tomorrow." With that, Donna Noble started her night. Uneventful? Maybe. Full of chaos? Most likely. A night Donna would never forget? Definitely!


	5. Mayhem, madness, and more mayhem and madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting a sick River to sleep seems like an easy task. Maybe Donna should have stayed home tonight. Maybe River will be good......NAH!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I try to keep my punctuation as correct as i possibly can. I use constant quotation marks because there is a fair amount of talking. The only affection is friendly, sometimes parental. Continue to remember River was not raised by parents. She still acts like a child at times because she has spent her life fending for herself. The guards are learning River's behavior patterns, so they can help her deal with her sentence, and maybe realize some things aren't all they appear to be. Since River can't be trusted, she has to ask for almost everything.

Donna dimmed the lights, sat down, and started filling out her report. Right after she finished adding the date she heard a rustling, followed by a voice saying: " Well, sweetie, that was a good nap. What should we do now? Journal, read, do - " no River "we" are not doing anything! You are going to bed and I am guarding you! And of story! " "ooh I love stories,..would you like to hear about the time the Doctor and I- "I said go to bed! And that is exactly what you will do!" Donna was getting annoyed . "Alright I'll go! But can I floss my teeth first? I forgot to do it earlier." Donna looked at River and said "okay, I'll give you the floss, but after that,it's off to bed with you." Donna handed the floss through the bars to River. " Thanks, Donna. Could I also trouble you to turn up the lights? It's very hard to floss if you can't see. " "okay, fine River, I'll hit the lights." River went over to the sink, and Donna went to the light switch at the very other end of the corridor.  
By the time Donna got back, she thought her eyes might pop out of her head.  
" River Song WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?" Donna yelled. She was gone for a moment, and River had wound dental floss all over her cell! "River, clean this up now!" " Alright, alright, Donna, but I was having so much fun. " "River, I am NEVER giving you dental floss again! I don't care if your teeth fall out!" Clean this up and go to bed. " River started cleaning, what had taken only seconds to accomplish took fifteen minutes to undo. "Hand the floss over to me River," Donna said . " I don't want you getting any ideas. And.the.box. That's right. Now go to bed" River got back into bed and laid there, happy her cot faced away from the bars so she could think up another plan .  
She sat up about fifteen minutes later, and said, "Donna, can you dim the lights again? I can't sleep with them on." "Oh,.no River, I'm not falling for that trick again. You can just suffer through, think of it as your punishment for the dental floss. And I am Officer Noble to you! Not Donna, not any pet name you can come up with. Just Officer Noble, or Guard. Nothing else! Understood?"  
"Sure "officer Noble" good night, officer Noble. " River lay on her cot, thinking about her next move. " Donna, can I have some water? " "it's Officer Noble, and yes, you MAY get some water, River." After handing her the cup, and receiving the clear plastic cup back when River was through, Donna sat back down. Something started to smell like mint. Donna looked up from her work and saw River getting toothpaste all over the floor. "RIVER SONG YOU BRAT! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? Now I have had just about enough of you! Clean this mess up right now! " "But I don't have anything to clean up with." River said in a mocking tone. " Use your hands! Fine, fine! I'll get you the mop. But YOU are in trouble, River, huge trouble. " Donna was not happy to say the least. But at least the floor was clean, and the mint wasn't too bad now. But you cannot trust River Song. One moment everything was fine, and in the blink of an eye, chaos erupted. Donna kept looking at River's cell every few minutes. Suddenly, The sound of water dripping caught Donna's ear. She looked over and saw the sink overflowing. "RIVERRRRRR! Then off the sink and clean it up NOW!" River just chuckled and said " Of course Donna. I don't know why you're so mad. You should really just relax. " Inmate Song, first of all, you have been trying my patience ALL NIGHT! I have no clue what to do with you. You are supposed to be sleeping, not causing problems. Second my name is OFFICER NOBLE, but now we'll settle on just Guard. You will do as you are told. Is that clear, Inmate? And since you seem to be so set in your ways, I'll just take your bear for the night." River was suddenly shaken by Donna's lecture. Was she really causing that much trouble? She only wanted to get some attention, after all, it did get lonely at night. No One had ever called her just plain 'Inmate ' before. For the first time, she had to call someone "" Guard" and not by their first name. And suddenly she felt like a nobody. She felt tiny and very, very, alone. All she wanted was Doggy, at least when he was there she felt a little bit safe. She begged Donna to give him back. It hurt so much without him that she threw herself in the floor and screamed in desperation. " please, Guard,please. Give him back, he's my only friend. Please! I'll be good, I'll go to bed, I'll behave, I p-p-promise. Just PLEASE!!! " Looking at a heartbroken River was hard, it felt like Donna had just ripped the heart right out of the distressed inmate. And Donna could take no more guilty feelings tonight. So she walked over to the bars and handed the bear back to River. " Here you go, " said Donna " I'm sorry I took your friend from you. But we need to figure out some rules here, but let's do that another night, okay? " River nodded her head. After a few moments, River calmed down, and went to bed. All was quiet...... for at least ten minutes , before River said " Donna, I need to go to the bathroom. Could you look away please? " River, you seem to forget, I'm Officer Noble, not Donna. And yes, I will move out of sight. But you had better go use the toilet, not the door, not anything you have stashed away, just the toilet. Got it ? " River nodded her head before Donna moved out of sight. After River called her back, Donna walked into view. The sight that met Donna was amazing. River hadn't made a mess of everything. All was nice and neat. There must be a catch, River couldn't keep a toothbrush in her cell. Something was up, Donna went to investigate the cell. She had only been in it the other day, and hadn't paid much attention. But now that she was in it, she had a whole new perspective on River's life. Just a folding desk against the bars on one side, a small toilet and a tiny sink behind that, and on the opposite side was a hard looking cot, wedged between the wall and the bars. It had looked bigger outside, the cot larger, the toilet farther away. But standing next to River, this place looked a lot sadder, if that was even possible. A more lonely and desolate place Donna could not imagine. Walking over to the cot, she sat down and felt just how hard it really was. How scratchy the blankets were. Only the lone bear gave the place any sort of comfort. Having read River's file the Doctor had given her, Donna thought about how horrible it must be to live in such a place. "River, Donna said, have a seat, let's talk." Sitting down, River said, "what do you want to talk about?" " This place is so awful, how do you live like this? "  
" Well, I escape, get caught, brought back, the Doctor comes, we go, I get a stern talking to, we have fun, I come back and harass the guards. This is sort of my home base. The Doctor placed me here to keep me safe, I have to come back. " " Donna tried to process what she had just heard, the Doctor, putting her wife in such a place? It seemed cruel. But River said it was for her safety. The Doctor wasn't being malicious, she was being kind to River. Protecting her, keeping her safe, loving her.  
Donna broke the silence saying " River, if you had said you were lonely i would have tried to help you. Next time say something, okay? " River nodded her very weary head, Donna saw just how tired she was and pulled the blankets over River who was sound asleep at last. Donna was going to finish her report, , but she found it hard to focus, still thinking about the cell she had just been in. The concrete and metal suddenly made her feel for River, asleep on that small hard cot with itchy blankets, being watched while you use the toilet or take a shower with an audience. She didn't know what she would do if the roles were reversed. But River was asleep, holding Doggy tightly. Donna relaxed and got back to work. Boy, River was certainly a handful! But for all the chaos, River was River. And there was nothing wrong with that.


	6. I don't like Brussel sprouts, and you can't make me eat them!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Simpkins get River to eat her food? Breakfast has been solved, but what about lunch and supper?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like Brussel sprouts myself. But some people do, so if you do like them, enjoy! If you don't, then we have something in common. Most chapters will have some reference to the bear. The names of both River's and the Doctor's bears needed rather unique names. I figured " Fixit " was so absurd only the Doctor would call anything that. And "Doggy " because the normal names didn't seem right, also it sounded rather comforting in a strange way. The game they play is from "Pollyanna." If you haven't read the book of seen the movie, you need to.

" No! No! No! No! I won't eat my lunch and you can't make me! " River was refusing to eat again, and it was getting on Simpkins nerves. Now, other inmates just dealt with the food as best they could, but not River. "Look, River you have to eat something! Even the Doctor made you promise you would. And I have no desire to get in trouble with her, so please, PLEASE, eat your lunch. But River still refused, even though she was very hungry. " River, I can hear your stomach growling. Now eat your lunch please. " River took her tray and threw it at Simpkins, making a huge mess. This was the last straw! "INMATE SONG! DO I HAVE TO SPOON FEED YOU ALL YOUR MEALS?!?" Screamed Simpkins . River just laughed, saying, "Just you try! I'll just spit it back out, and then where would we be?" " Alright,River, you think you won. But I can make sure you get nothing but Brussel sprouts for every meal. And I can tell the warden, and the Doctor. Now who do you think will be more lenient, huh? Who do you think I should tell? Warden Henderson? Or the Doctor? " River's blood ran cold. She didn't want to be placed in that awful cell again. Nor did she want her wife to come lecture her on eating her meals. "I'm sorry." River said, really meaning it. " sorry doesn't cut it River, I think you need to learn a lesson in obedience. A nice hard think is in order, and you are going to do just that. But first you will clean up this mess while I get someone in here so I can get a clean shirt. " Simpkins stalked off, leaving River to clean the mess.   
Joshua watched her like a hawk while she scrubbed the floor and bars. He had always been rather stern with River, but he was always fair and didn't treat her badly, unlike some of the other guards. It didn't take long for the floor and bars to be clean again, and only a few minutes more for Simpkins to return. "Thank you much, Joshua. How did the cleaning go?"  
" Just fine Simpkins. Not so much as a complaint out of her. " " Good! And now I have a very surly imate to deal with. Thanks again. " After Joshua left, Simpkins stood in front of the cell, handcuffs at the ready. "Alright, time for your punishment. Come here, please, River. " River was scared. What would Simpkins do? Would she give her a beating like the other guards did? Would she force her to do anything bad? What would happen? She tentatively moved towards the bars, hoping Simpkins would be kind. Who was she kidding, of course Simpkins would be kind. She was rather understanding, and she cared about River's wellbeing.I  
When she reached the bars, Simpkins opened the cell door and asked River to come out. She obeyed, wondering what was in store for her. Once Simpkins shut the door, she said "Alright you, face me please. Now out your hands behind your back so I can cuff you. That's right, just like that. Are they too tight? No? Good!" River was shocked. Being cuffed to the cell door? That was it? No beating? No room? No degradation? What kind of punishment was this? River sat on the floor and thought. "Simpkins, why are you doing this? Don't you want to beat me? Or starve me? Humiliate me?" " River,River,River. Don't you know? I work for the Doctor, I work for UNIT. Why do you think they placed me here? I don't want to hurt you, I want to teach you a lesson. And right now, you need to appreciate the things you have. So we will play the Glad Game.  
Here's how it goes: think of something you can be glad about being here, then I'll say what I'm glad about. Okay? "  
River had read about this once in a book, but it sounded absurd to play such a game here. If Simpkins thought this would be a good punishment then she must have a screw loose. But it couldn't hurt to play a game no matter the reason. And if this was a punishment, then she might as well go along with it.  
" okay,River said, I'm glad I get to keep my journal. "  
" that's a good one. Let me see, I'm glad I don't have to commute to work. "  
" I'm glad I have Doggy, and nobody cares "  
" I'm glad I can get medical care right here. "   
River chewed her lip. "I can't think of anything else"  
" Well , " Simpkins said. "How about about the Doctor's visits? "  
" that's a good one! Why didn't I think of that? "  
" Anything else, River? "  
" I'm glad I have my cot. It sure beats sleeping on the ground. "  
" I'm glad I don't have to get called out on emergencies anymore. "  
" I'm glad I have clean uniforms that don't scratch"  
And so the game went. Once both had run out of things to say, River realised Simpkins had been the whole time.  
" Alright,River. Your time is up. Lets get you back in your cell. "  
River was surprised, it wasn't that long, surely, maybe fifteen minutes at the most!  
" Why was this punishment so short? " River asked.  
The look on Simpkins face was priceless.  
"What do you mean short? It's been two hours."  
Two hours! Was it possible? The game had lasted two hours. That was a lot of things to be glad about. River couldn't believe it! But it was true, the clock now said 2:30. What about the punishment? Was Simpkins tricking her into thinking the punishment was over? She had to ask. " Simpkins, when are you going to punish me? " " River, I just did! I made you play that game to show you how good you really have it. To teach you not all guards are abusive and cruel. Don't you get it? I really and truly have no desire to hurt you. Donna and I want to teach you that not everything has to be solved with violence. The Doctor gave us this task because she knew we would be able to handle your behavior. No matter what you throw at us. Really, and truly,we care about you and we only have your best interest in mind. So, you may not see how this is beneficial, but you will. "  
River had no clue this was the Doctor's motive. She wasn't sending spies for River to toy with, she was helping River become more human. The Doctor loved her the way she was of course. And wouldn't change her for anything. But River still had to learn many lessons in acceptable behavior.  
"River, we will try this again." Simpkins said . "Now I have your supper right on my chair, and I think I can fix your problem. However, you need to put some effort into trying to eat it." Simpkins turned around and did something to the tray of food River couldn't see. " Here you go. Now no throwing your food, or you will be eating nothing but sprouts three meals a day for a week. " Simpkins turned around and gave River her food. She looked at it, poked at it, smelled it, and finally, say down to eat it. River took a piece of the offending food onto her fork, slowly she chewed and swallowed the small piece of food. River suddenly, her eyes widened, she took another bite, then another. "Well, I guess my plan worked." " River nodded. She polished off those little green balls faster than the Doctor ran from Cybermen. " Those were good! " River exclaimed once she was done with them. What did you do to them? " "Well, River I dried them off first, soggy veggies are awful to eat. Then I added some salt, pepper, and a little bit of butter. You were so worried about eating them you didn't even notice the change. Now eat your spaghetti and meatballs please." " THAT'S what this is supposed to be? It looks more like....well. " What was supposed to be a delicious pasta dish looked horrid. The noodles were cooked so much they had all but disintegrated, the sauce was cooked until it was brown, and what passed for meatballs might as well have been marbles. It almost made the Salisbury steak served at lunch look edible. River sighed, she really didn't want to eat this, but Simpkins had asked nicely, so... River took a bite, it was still awful, but slightly more bearable.   
"I added some oregano an had a little talk with the warden. Apparently the guard in charge of the kitchen has just been too lazy to care much about what was going on. He just left them to their own devices, and since the only thing they could find to cook were spaghetti and meatballs, Salisbury steak, Brussels sprouts, and oatmeal. Well.... She fired the guard this afternoon due to too many fights breaking out. The new guard is much more experienced in handling inmates with knives. And she has a good background in cooking. They said her name is Oswald. Apparently she is known for her cooking, so we might get better food and a lot less infirmary visits. Maybe even some different food. I think she works for the Doctor too. "  
River just smiled. Her wife was the best! She would have to make her something special on their next adventure. If she remembered right, the Doctor was rather fond of banana bread. Especially River's banana bread, a little cinnamon, that was her secret. No walnuts, never walnuts! But a pat of the Doctor's favorite butter would just about do it. Yes, that would be perfect!

Simpkins left Joshua in charge of River while she herself had her supper. Mac and cheese from home, with lots of peas just the way she liked it. Her mother sent her care packages once a week. She was worried her daughter would not have enough nutritious food on "That horrible planet full of dangerous criminals! And not a thing to eat." Well , her mom wasn't totally wrong. Every package also had a box of cookies, placed there by her husband, Sam. Sam Simpkins was a rather funny sounding name to most people. But she found it rather nice. He always included cookies and a letter telling her how things were going. Always an update on the dog,Jip. And always a lot of news on their baby girl, Molly. Simpkins didn't think she could live without those letters and occasional video chats. Though the chats had allowed her to see her little girl's first steps and first word. Simpkins was sure Molly was just waiting to do things just so she could show off for her mommy.  
Molly was so cute, with Simpkins warm, brown,Filipino skin and her daddy's thick curly hair. Simpkins couldn't wait until the end of the month when she would get a much needed three weeks vacation. She was going to enjoy her family, and she had promised Sam she would visit his very strict Irish mother. Telling Sam about River's antics always made him laugh. Yes, this would be a good vacation.  
Once Simpkins got back from dinner, River asked to play a game of cards. Simpkins wasn't too sure at first,but River had eaten her supper without complaint, so... A few rounds of rummy couldn't hurt right? They played until Donna walked in. Where had the time gone? It was almost 6:30. Whatever happened to the day? Simpkins picked up the cards and said "Hello, Donna. The day has just flown by. We had some rocky moments,but overall, the day was fine. I think you should have it easy tonight. And I do remember what happened the last time I told you that, but I think River will behave herself. "  
Simpkins left,and a surprisingly calm night was had. Plenty of talking, and more rummy, followed by River journaling, reading and finally, lights out with surprisingly little hassle. Now that Donna and River had come to an understanding, the night shift was uneventful. Which suited Donna just fine.


	7. Andrea Simpkins goes home. ( or when the cat's away, will River play)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrea Simpkins gets a much needed break. Spending time with her family is all she wants to do for three weeks. No River, No Hassles, No Stormcage, and the best part, No River!  
> But what will River do to the new guard? Will she keep her promise to obey? Or will River just be River?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy reading about River's antics. I know I enjoy writing them. If you have a suggestion (keep it clean please) comment and I'll see if I can accommodate. I make no promises, but I will try.  
> I thought River being watched by another guard might be a good laugh, Especially if it was Jenny. Very few guards will be male, this is the female side of the prison, and I felt that most staff should be women also.  
> And many characters are female anyways, so that works out too.

" Now, River " said Simpkins. I am going home to visit my family for a while. I will be back in three weeks. I want you to be on your absolute best behavior for Officer Flint. If, now listen carefully,IF you cause so much as a hint of trouble, the Doctor will be told, and she won't come for your birthday! Is that understood? "  
"Of course Officer Simpkins. I would never cause anyone a bit of trouble. Nope, I'll be good as gold, and never do anything wrong. I promise!" River said. Simpkins wasn't so sure , but she wanted to see Sam and Molly and she needed a break from River, so home it was.  
Once Simpkins shut the metal door, Jenny went about introducing herself.  
" hullo, I'm Officer Jenny Flint but plain Officer will do, You must be River Song. I know your wife.  
She's really good she is. "  
" it's nice to meet you Flint. " River said putting her hand through the bars to shake Jenny's. When she grasped River's hand, Jenny found herself within River's very hard grasp. "Oi! Let go of me hand!" " I don't know what you have been told, but this is MY cell, and I hate guards who think I am just another inmate! You do as I say and we will get along just fine Jenny Flint! Understand? " Jenny finally pulled her hand away and said " wot ave you got against me? I don't like people who think they can manhandle me. You are to call me "Officer" or " Officer Flint" not "Jenny." And just so we are on the same page, I'll ave you know if you get out o' hand I'll deal wiv you meself! I look small, but if I ave to, I'll give you something to remember me by! "  
River was amused. This would be easy, a little puny guard thinking she could best River Song. It was almost laughable!  
She decided to leave this little girl alone for now, but maybe this would be a fun three weeks. A little entertainment was just what she needed.  
"Oi! What was that for?" Jenny yelped the next morning. River had "accidentally" soaked her with the shower head.  
" I don't like people watching me take a shower! " River exclaimed. "I like at least a little privacy. I am a person after all. Turn so you can't see me." " Are you kidding? You're an inmate! I'm not turning my back on you! You might kill me. " Jenny said in disbelief. "I'm sorry,but you got yourself into this mess in the first place! "Don't commit crimes if you can't do the time," me ma always said. And she was right! So you just 'ave to take your lumps like everyone else. Now would you please get dressed so I can get some dry clothes on? Yes, those clothes on the counter. Hurry up, stop dawdling! I don't care if you think it itches, put your shirt on! NOW!!! " With those last words still ringing through the small shower room, Jenny finally got River dressed and sat her in a chair, guarded by Joshua. "You got her good, River. But you need to behave, remember what the Doctor said."  
When Jenny returned River to her cell, she passed the toiletries through the bars. One by one. Assuming River would take care of the rest. Well.....River took care of something alright. The second Jenny turned her back, River got to work making a mess to make the last mess on Donna look like a knock-knock joke. In under a minute she had deodorant all over the floor, dental floss keeping the cell door from opening, and toothpaste all over the bars. She even found her pen and spread the ink throughout the cell. Jenny turned around and screamed! "RIVER SONG WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THIS CELL!!?!" River just smirked and said nothing . Jenny radioed Joshua for help. When he saw the cell, he just about had a stroke. When he found his voice, he said, " I'll get the cleaning supplies. This isn't the first time she's done this. Though the pen is a new addition. " Once the cell was cleaned, (it took an hour to finish everything) and River had finally finished getting ready while being watched by five guards, everything settled down.  
" Don't even think about it! Don't even think about it, River. Put the bowl down before you get cornflakes everywhere. That's right, nice and easy. On the desk, just like that.....sit down..siiiiiit! Now pick up the spoon, No we don 't throw spoons. Put your arm down, I mean it. Put.It.Down. Good! No,River eat with your spoon not your face. Yes, I know I said to put the spoon down, I didn't say don't use it. Are you going to eat right or will I have to feed you like a baby? Okay, that's better. Thank you! " If this was how every meal was going to be, Jenny might request a transfer. Or maybe retirement would be better. Or perhaps a nice coffin because River Song was killing her!  
That had been a close one. But now that no food was in sight, the day could continue. "Alright River", Jenny said. " let's forget about earlier, and move on, shall we? " River nodded, but she had plans of her own. She did forget one thing though,  
She was out of useable ammunition. River had her usual guns and blasters and such. But she never used them on the guards. Messing with them was so much more fun than killing them. Besides, she escaped often enough to satiate her need to blow things up and kill people. The guards had also developed an immunity to her hallucinogenic lipstick, so that was useless.  
" Turn around! I need to pee! " River demanded. "Sorry, River. You know I can't do that." Jenny said, in a tone that didn't sound very sorry. Actually it was a rather annoyed tone. In the last three hours River had soaked Jenny with the shower, turned her cell into a deathtrap, and attempted to cover Jenny in her breakfast. She did manage to hit Jenny with her spoon though. But everything was cleaned up now and the day could go on. "At the very least could you avert your eyes? I really gotta go." River sounded desperate, and she looked even more desperate. " " Alright, I won't look, but no playing around I've had enough. " River ran to the toilet so fast, she almost tripped over it. "Okay, you can look now." River said as she washed her hands. " Thank you for the privacy, " River said. Jenny didn't think looking at a blank floor while someone was using the toilet was privacy, but she wasn't in a cell being watched all the time. She knew she didn't want anyone seeing her relieve herself, and she had no desire to watch anyone else do the same. It wasn't dignified. Not that there was much dignity when a person was incarcerated.  
A while later, a bored River decided to have a little fun at Jenny's expense. She called Jenny over to her cell, and asked her to help remove a large cobweb. Once in the cell, she socked Jenny with her pillow catching her right in the side . Startled, Jenny realized what River was trying to accomplish. She was going to knock Jenny senseless then run out! Jenny grabbed the pillow out of River's hands, and with one swift kick, sent River to the ground. "Thought you'd have some fun did you? You must be a glutton for punishment, giving me headaches and whatnot! You listen up and you listen good! I am not to be messed with, I will take you down and make sure you never get back up! Gottit ?" River just nodded , unable to speak from fright. "Good!" Jenny said getting up from the floor.  
She noticed something on River's cot. A brown fuzzy, sweater wearing something. "What's this here? A toy bear. What is it doing here? Only babies and small children have such things. No self respecting adult has a teddy. So you're baby then! " Jenny said, taking River's only friend out of the cell. River was embarrassed, it has happened! A guard had not just taken her bear, but also called her a baby! River sat there on the cold cement floor and held back her tears. She wasn't going to cry and prove Jenny right.  
When lunch came, River wouldn't eat. She avoided she contact with Jenny. She just sat there and picked at her food, trying not to cry. Eventually she took a few small bites of shepherd's pie, it was good, she had to admit the new guard was making some great changes to the menu. But her heart wasn't in it, she had no bear now. No friends, No bear, No parents, nothing. She didn't want to read,Simpkins was gone for three weeks, and oh, dear! She had broken her promise to Simpkins, AND her promise to the Doctor! Now not only was she alone, she would be punished by Simpkins, the Doctor wouldn't come, and she only had herself to blame.  
The day slowly dragged by. River sat on her cot, her face buried in her knees, keeping the tears at bay. She just sat there, doing nothing, saying nothing, feeling embarrassed. Supper time brought chicken a la king. River only ate because she was hungry.  
Soon, Donna came. "Officer Noble! Officer Noble! Come here! Come here!" River yelled. Donna ran to the cell . River only ever called her that if things were wrong. By the time she got there, a very agitated River was clinging onto the bars.  
"Alright, River, hang tight. I'll be right with you. " Donna said, turning to Jenny she said, "Officer Flint, how did it go?"  
"We got off to a bad start, she soaked me with the shower head, ruined her cell, almost threw her breakfast at me, and tried to lock me in her cell. Once I took this baby toy from her, she was quiet the rest of the day." Jenny explained.  
"You took.....You didn't....You. Okay, okay, Donna deal with one thing at a time" she said to herself. "First of all, River likes playing tricks and pranking the guards. However, Simpkins and I have been working with her on that. River why did you soak officer Flint's clothes? Most guards do that,River. You just have very unusual guards. And the rest? You can't always do what you want, you know that. You need to behave yourself. She did what? And called you a baby? Alright River apologize to Officer Flint please. That's better. And Flint, before you go, give the bear back please. "  
" I'm sorry River, I didn't know about your bear. I'm sorry I called you a baby. Maybe we can pretend this day never happened and start again tomorrow. How's that sound? Donna, I'll make sure to read the manual tonight. I only got it this morning, and had no time to read it. I'll see you tomorrow. "  
" Now that's taken care of, let's see about this evening. I have cards if you want to play a game of rummy or something. I even have a puzzle if you want. River. Are you okay? " Donna entered the cell to check on a crying River. She sat next to River and gave her a hug. Donna wasn't sure the last time River had been really hugged, but she didn't tense, or try to shrug Donna off. River just relaxed into Donna's arms. It felt nice to have someone hug her. She never got much affection as a child, and show affection was what her parents loved to do with her. 'our baby' Rory and Amy would say, hugging her tightly, sometimes too tightly. River didn't much appreciate her parents calling her a baby. But, they didn't get to raise her so she let them. Secretly she rather liked when her parents did this, she had never belonged to anybody, so being their baby was kind of nice. The Doctor was a good hugger,no matter which version, always a good hugger. Really it was safe, and warm, and welcoming, full of love, and just.....prefect. This but was different, it was nice and comforting. 'this must be what friendship feels like.' River thought. ' I like this feeling. It feels nice knowing someone else cares for you and likes you. Not because they are married to you, nor because they are related to you. But because they actually like you and want you to be happy.'  
River was so happy she could burst. A friend, she had a friend!  
After getting part of the puzzle done, and still missing a piece, it was time for Lights Out. River was once again under the blanket on her cot, holding Doggy. " Donna? " "What is it River? And please remember to call me Noble, not Donna."  
" I'm glad you are my friend. " River said. Donna was taken aback, River calling her a friend? But the more she thought about it, the more she understood. She did more than watch her sleep. They talked, played games, and she kept River from doing anything stupid. At least she tried, it wasn't always that easy. So, yes, River was a friend of sorts. If you can call guarding the most dangerous criminal in the universe from herself being a friendship then, alright.  
Everything was calm, everything still, and plenty of paperwork to fill out. Donna went to look into the cell. River was sound asleep. She knew this because River was sucking her thumb. The Doctor found it cute, her parents thought it was the most adorable thing, Amy said Rory did the same thing until she broke him of it. Like Father like daughter. So Donna sat back in her chair and resumed her paperwork.


	8. River's birthday surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally River's birthday. What surprise does the Doctor have for her wife?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm more of a blueberry pancake ( gluten free please) person. It's the real butter and maple syrup that makes them yummy!

Andrea Simpkins was back from vacation and ready to work. When she entered the long hall containing the one cell, she was in for a surprise. River was whistling! Of all the things she had found River doing, whistling was new. When she got to the cell, she found a very happy River making her bed. And doing it correctly for a change! What on earth er... Stormcage was going on? "Good morning, River! You seem rather happy today!" "Well of course I'm happy! It's my birthday today, and my wife is paying me a visit! How could I not be happy, Officer Simpkins ?" Simpkins thought she might faint. River? Calling her "Officer" ? River...... Birthday ..... Today? How could she have forgotten? She had seen her file many times, but today she hadn't looked at Donna's notes yet. Quickly she reached for the clipboard scanning last night's notes. Sure enough, it really was River's birthday. And she was HOW old? This had to be a mistake, nobody could live to be 536 years old. Could they? It must be a Timelord thing. And....River had already completed her morning routine, with Donna. Now THIS was a first to end all firsts. And it would probably never happen again, so Simpkins just relaxed, and went with the flow.   
When breakfast came, even Simpkins was surprised! A note said " Andrea, I know today is River's birthday and since she is serving the longest sentence, I have prepared her a special breakfast. I hope she likes it. Clara"  
River smelled something really good. It couldn't be! Her favorite breakfast seemed to appear out of nowhere. Chocolate chip waffles with a hot cup of coffee made just the way she liked! Now this was a treat! She not only ate her breakfast, Simpkins had to yank the tray away from her before she ate straight through it! "I gather you liked that,River." She just nodded her head, unable to speak around a mouthful of waffle. "You sure attacked those waffles! Now give me the fork before you eat it and we spend the day in the medical unit,with a very different doctor. River relented, it has just been so good, she didn't want it to end. She wished she could have them again tomorrow.   
Not too long after breakfast, the worp worp of the TARDIS could be heard. River had changed our of her blue Stormcage uniform, carefully folding the numbered garments and laying them on the cot next to Doggy. She was now in her jeans and a blue and yellow striped shirt. She ran to the bars ( if you could call five steps running) with a great big smile on her face. The Doctor was here! Her Doctor was here!  
In a flash, the Doctor was right outside the cell, sonicing the lock when Simpkins said " wouldn't it be easier to just ask me to open the door for you? " "Well, of course it would be, but where is the fun in that? This way is much more fun. Now come on, River, we have a lot of things to do!" River leapt into her wife's arms, hugging her tightly. "Alright, River, Alright! I love you too! Let go before you kill me again." The Doctor rasped. River let go saying, "Sweetie, I missed you so much! I'm so happy you're here! Let's get in the TARDIS, and-" "Now just a moment, River, I have to chat with Simpkins first. Simpkins! How are you? And your family? Glad to hear it. We will be gone for a while today, but I'll bring her back before lights out, I promise! Warden Henderson made me promise to tell you when we would be back, and to try and keep River in one piece. Give my regards to Sam and tell Molly she really shouldn't try the sand in the sandbox., it just tastes bad. And make sure to tell Jip he has no idea what he is talking about, smaller sticks are much better to play fetch with. " The Doctor grabbed River and off they went!   
" Alright, my loving wife, we are off to give you your surprise! After bumping around for what seemed like hours, but was really only three minutes, they landed. "Welcome to fref!exffs8! But everyone just calls it " the planet" it has the best chocolate chip waffles in the galaxy! And their sand dunes are made for rolling down, not like the ones on earth where you have to be careful with ecosystems and such. The hiking trails are wonderful, and don't even get me started on the beaches. The water is so clear you can see the bottom of the sea! They even have libraries on almost every corner.The Zoxerfilds are very into reading. Just about anything you can think of they have a book on it. And not just any books either, each book can change language depending on your preference. "   
River was stunned , she got to have more waffles, books, get dirty and hang out with the Doctor all at once! This was amazing! She didn't know where to start. " let's take a walk first " she said. So they went to the hiking trails and just walked, not talking, not saying anything, just walking. River liked this, the smell of trees, the funny colored leaves, and odd animals that looked like purple squirrels. It was a nice change from Stormcage, no concrete, no bars, no guards, nooverpowering smell of cleaner, no cell. Just her and her wife, relaxing.   
After their walk, they visited the library. River was in her element, looking at books, touching their covers lovingly. The Doctor just watched her wife, her River. It made both her hearts beat with joy to see her wife so happy. She knew there would need to be more days like this. River had only been in Stormcage for five years, and she had many years and life sentences to go. It would not be easy, her guards were great, the whole staff was, really. But they would eventually leave, and new guards would take their place. This cycle would continue for the rest of her sentence, how would she handle all these changes? The Doctor couldn't bear to think what River would do when she had other UNIT guards taking over for Simpkins and Donna. It wouldn't be for quite a while yet, but it would happen. All the tantrums, all the mayhem, all the anger and all the violence were nothing but coping mechanisms. Change was hard, being away from the Doctor was hard. Visiting the Doctor was hard. The goodbyes hurt, it was like she was reliving her childhood all over again, only this time the guards wou!d be left to clean up the emotional mess.  
The Doctor put those thoughts out of her mind and went to find River.   
Once they had eaten the waffles, and played in the dunes River said " Sweetie, that you for today. It's been the most wonderful birthday! I know you have more planned, but I am feeling tired, I have never asked this before, and I never dreamed I would be asking this now, but...Can we just go back home please, not the TARDIS. Just home. " Alright,River, if that's what you want, we will go back. It's your day, after all. "   
Back at Stormcage, Simpkins was relieved to see her charge again. But seeing a very dirty, very tired, River wasn't pleasing at all. And she was a little concerned when River looked a little green around the edges. " Happy birthday my love, "   
the Doctor said, handing her a brightly colored package. River tore off the paper to find a nice warm blanket covered in   
Gallefreyic letters. " it's just the alphabet, but it is pretty to look at. " the Doctor said. And it is much warmer and softer than the ones here. " River gave the Doctor a huge hug and kiss so long, the Doctor thought she might suffocate.  
When she turned around, The Doctor was met with a very angry Simpkins. "What did you do, Doctor? You whisk your wife away, only to bring her back in such a state! You will go get the sand off yourselves, change clothing, River I'll hand you your uniform, you are not tracking sand into your cell! Now please go do as I say. " both women hung their heads and climbed back into the TARDIS. 20 minutes later both women came out of the TARDIS in clean clothing, and began to clean the floor.   
Since it was River's birthday, the Doctor stuck around for a while. They compared notes, and talked, suddenly, there was a clanging sound and a delicious smell. Simpkins came over with two trays of chicken, spinach, potatoes, and souffle. "Oh! My goodness! Clara really outdid herself. Do you get this kind of food all the time,River?" " other than the souffle, yes. How did she know you were going to be here for supper ? " " She knew it was your birthday, so she must have wanted to be prepared in case I was here. Either that, or Simpkins said something while we got cleaned up in the TARDIS... Andrea, did you tell Clara i would be staying to supper? " "Why Doctor, how on earth did you know? I tried, but she already knew." Simpkins said. " That is her special birthday souffle. She makes it for all the staff birthdays, and some inmates as well. "  
After such a wonderful supper, River and the Doctor played 'go fish.' After showing the Doctor that it was only a card game and that it didn't involve any real fishing, they played until Donna came on. They played right up until Donna said " Doctor, I know you both are enjoying this, but I have to dim the lights now. I even gave you an extra half an hour, but now is lights out and unless you plan on playing in the dark, I suggest you put your wife to bed. I don't tuck her in at night, I do nothing but flip a switch and tell her to go to bed. You, on the other hand, can do anything you want. " the Doctor suddenly looked really happy. "NOT LIKE THAT. REASONABLY, DOCTOR, REASONABLY.! Tuck her in, tell her a story, that kind of anything. "  
So after cleaning up the cards, River got ready for bed. The Doctor found the way she flossed her teeth with Donna standing right there very amusing. She already knew about River's little games, and found most solutions involved someone standing over River,watching her preform the task.   
Now that Donna was no longer breathing down River's neck, the Doctor tucked River into bed with the new blanket. Sitting on the edge,the Doctor told her wife some wonderful story about running from Daleks, Defeating headless monks, all sorts of wonderful things. She told so many stories she fell asleep, snuggled against River. When Donna realized all was quiet, she went into the unlocked cell, and saw River sleeping more soundly than ever. Only this time the Doctor was next to River,curled up like a cat. Donna pulled the blanket over them and walked away shaking her head. In the morning, the Doctor would be gone before River could even open her eyes. Simpkins would need help dealing with her. Maybe she could get Officer Potts to help. And maybe she should tell Clara so she could keep everyone from being covered in breakfast, then having River try to kill them with a spoon or fork.And maybe she should put maintenance on alert. And most definitely she should call the medical unit! But first she wanted to speak with Simpkins, and come up with a game plan. Then, she might think about retiring to a cell of her own. Maybe in the psych ward?


	9. Of toast and terror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may seem like River is being pampered with receiving her clothing like this. But remember, she killed the Doctor and cannot be trusted. I thought it would be safer for someone to just deliver clean things through a slot instead of sending Donna out to get them, thus leaving River alone.

The Doctor left around four, kissing her still sleeping wife on the forehead, she said "Goodbye, wife." Then softly made her way to the TARDIS. Donna was surprised River hadn't woken up when the TARDIS took off. But River never seemed to hear it. 'Oh, Andrea, what a day you are in for!' Donna thought, making sure everything was ready for the six thirty shift change.  
The nightly report took all of five minutes to fill out, and a clean uniform and towel were delivered for the day, followed by a quick bed check just to make sure River hadn't pulled a fast one on her. But River was still sound asleep, mumbling something about family cuddle time. Not that it sounded like a bad idea. Donna might try that when she had children, it sounded like a rather nice thing to do as a family. Donna sat back down and resumed reading.  
Andrea Simpkins entered the cell corridor and made her way to Donna. "Brace yourself, today is gonna be a bad one." Donna said . Simpkins had already counted on that, but she had no clue what River would do so she just had to wait and see what happened. After a little chat with Donna, and a brief summary of the night report, River was all here for the day. Simpkins was apprehensive about waking River, but she knew she would have to deal with this anyway, so.  
"River, it's time to get up. Let's start the day", she said. River opened one eye, closed it and pulled her pillow over her head.Simpkins tried again, " come on, River she coaxed, "time to rise and shine!" River was having none of it. " I don't like doing this, but you give me no choice. " Simpkins sighed, opened the cell door and yanked the pillow away from River. River just curled up under the covers, causing those to come off next. Finally, Simpkins had no choice but to do the one thing she knew would set River off. She took Doggy. River was FURIOUS! How dare anyone take her beloved bear right out of her arms. She lunged at Simpkins, only to find a night stick against her chest. "River, either you can get up and start the day, or we can pay a visit to doctor Jones. It's up to you, calm down now, or find out exactly how serious i can be." River decided to calm down, she remembered dr. Jones. Oh, did she remember Dr. Jones! The straps, the sedatives, straight jacket. She remembered Dr. Jones alright. And there was NO WAY she was going to see her again unless she was dying. She shuddered at the thought of being put in a plexiglass cell next to Missy again. Transparent walls,padded floor,timed bathroom breaks,   
no bed, blanket, or pillow. Lights on all the time,no Doggy, heavily armed guards on all sides,and Missy. She hated that woman! So cooperate it was.   
By breakfast, River had managed to make a mess of three clean uniforms, all the bedding, and two of Simpkins uniforms. This was not starting out well. She hadn't even managed a bite of breakfast before throwing toast at Simpkins, and crumbling the rest onto the floor. Simpkins was very happy Clara had been warned about today. Toast was easily cleaned up. All of this Simpkins could handle.  
Throughout the day River continued to harass Simpkins. She ran up and down the hall with her sonic screwdriver, glued Simpkins shoes to the floor, and attempted to remove the toilet and sink. Finally, when things didn't seem like they could get any worse, they did. When trying to get Officer Potts to help, River suddenly disappeared. "River? Simpkins called.   
" River! RIVER! RIVER SONG! WHERE ARE YOU!?! " " Alright, Alright, you don't have to shout! I'm right here! " River said, suddenly standing in her cell. Simpkins was relieved and horrified. There was River, standing in the middle of her cell, holding a skunk under each arm. " I just went off to visit planet Skunk for a while. " River said, letting both rather large skunks to free. " River I - ' oh, don't yell, you'll scare them.' River cut in. " send them home, please. Before we have a huge problem. " Simpkins said. " Oh,FINE! Come on boys, let's go back to your place. " "No River, just them, not you" "Oh, alright! Bye guys, thanks for the fun." River said as she sent the skunks away.She  
" RRRRRIIIIIVVVVVVVVEEEEERRRRRRRR!!! "screamed Simpkins. You are in so much trouble!" Was all she could get out before officer Potts arrived. " What is that awful smell? " Bill asked. " River went visiting planet Skunk. I didn't know there was such a thing! " Simpkins said. " Now I have to go call Clara and see how to get rid of the stink. Apparently she is the expert on skunk smell. In the meantime , would you please get that vortex manipulator away from River please? " Bill went over to River and quickly took the divice from her.   
The whole area had to be cleaned, causing the three of them to move to another cell. Simpkins asked Bill if she could talk a little about punishment options so River could hear, thinking that might be enough to scare River into submission.  
"What kind of options have we got for punishments?" Asked Simpkins " Well, " Bill replied "We could send her to psych again, that was pretty frightening. Maybe we request ECT? Fry her memory a bit." River looked terrified at the prospect.  
" or we could send her to Torchwood , let Harkness scare her with his aliens. 'Do you remember the last time that happened, River? You wet the bed for a month after, drove everyone mad with the nightmares and all.' Oh River remembered, all too well how Jack and his gang found it funny to watch her being chased by different creatures, screaming for help and them just laughing. " or,Simpkins, we could just ask emergency response to loan us their meanest dog. Put that thing in a cell with River, and you'll have the most compliant prisoner ever. " River suddenly looked like she was going to faint,cry,and wet herself all at the same time. Simpkins actually looked sorry for River, she'd never imagined any of those being punishments. They sounded cruel. How River was still standing was anyone's guess.   
After being allowed to go back to her cell, River settled down. Those thoughts in her head made her feel so scared she thought she might die. 'What would Officer Simpkins do to her? Would she do any of those horrible things? Would she do something worse?' Not that River could think of much worse than Torchwood. A cell with Missy sounded like a better deal.  
And Missy would be terrible, taunting her, forcing her to fight. That would be fun! Actually, that would be really fun. Fighting Missy would at least give River a chance to hurt the dreaded woman and maybe even make it count. But that would just lead to more trouble, and more trouble meant more discipline. It was a vicious cycle.   
Once River got out of her mind, she noticed Simpkins coming over to her cell. Since the lock was mainly for decoration at this point, Simpkins hadn't locked the cell. But River had been so quiet, she had to see what was going on. "We need to have a talk Song. River? RIVER ! " Simpkins raised her voice, finally getting her attention. " I know it's hard after the Doctor leaves. I know you don't want to be told to stay put, and that's understandable. But you cannot get angry every time you are left here. I know you like to pop out occasionally, and I have been told not to mind you doing so. But when you do you need to be careful about the places you visit. No more Skunks! You had your fun with that one,no bringing back strays of any kind, that includes kittens and puppies, and whatever you do, no diseases! I would rather deal with a room full of skunks before you bring something back here that makes everybody seriously ill. And before you ask, NO! You may NOT have a skunk filled smell -I mean cell! " River perked up at that one. Filling a cell with skunks would be fun. Maybe that's what she'd do for Missy's Christmas present and sign it "From the Doctor" that would be fun! She should keep that in mind. Or just send Missy some nasty disease! That would be entertaining! But back to the present, she had plenty of time to think about all that later. " You know Officer, the only reason they let me come and go as I please, is because they see it as an act of community service. My leaving means I am off chasing someone rather dangerous, or going on digs and researching. Sometimes even teaching. I help get people educated, and help stop some monsters while I am at it. It also gives the Doctor a migraine when I show up unannounced. All very entertaining. Don't you think? " Simpkins pondered that for a minute. Now she understood why River left and why she had those skunks but....what about the rest of it? " River, what happened today? Were you angry? Upset about something? Or is it something else entirely? " River smiled " Spoilers " was all she said.   
After a supper of tuna noodle casserole. (How did Clara know when to cook the worst food? Simpkins wondered) A few apologies later, Donna came. " I heard about today. I hope all is well tonight. " she said. " You should be fine, if anything comes up, just mention Jack Harkness. She'll calm right down. I set up an appointment for her to meet with dr. Graham tomorrow, but for the rest of the night, she's all yours! " Simpkins walked down the long corridor, relieved the day was done. She was going to surprise her husband tonight. She was resigning from her job, and coming back to earth. Molly needed her, and soon the new baby would too. She had her replacement all picked out. Yaz Khan would be perfect for the job. River would like her, Donna would like her. And she would like them too. Saying goodbye was always hard, but she was sure this was the right choice. Maybe she would buy a soft fluffy teddy bear in a red sweater for this baby.


	10. The New Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yas is in charge now, she and River have fun.

It was Yas's first day! She was apprehensive, but optimistic. River sounded like fun, she must have lots of stories. Yas had heard about a peculiar item River had in her cell, and she couldn't wait to see it. Walking in to meet River, she was handed a clipboard. Looking over everything, she found that the morning had gone well. Since this was their first meeting, she came in around eleven. Being woken up by a stranger then being told what to do was not pleasant. So she made sure to come at a more reasonable time.   
River was a little nervous, was this new guard going to be as good as Simpkins? She hoped so. Hopefully Officer Kahn would know how to make her oatmeal just right, and how to fix her Brussels sprouts? Did someone tell her not to yell when it was time to wake up? And the biggest question of all, had anyone told her about Doggy? If she knew, she might laugh, pick on her, rip doggy in to pieces. That would never happen! She would hide him if she had to. But this new guard had better be nice.  
Yas tapped lightly on the bars, "Hello, you must be Inmate River Song, I'm Officer Kahn." Said a young looking guard. She didn't look like she belonged here, she should be attending school , not guarding the most dangerous criminal in Stormcage. Yet here she was, holding her hand out. River shook it and introduced herself. "Now, I heard you got yourself a teddy bear. My I meet him? " River nodded, startled someone already knew about her secret. But by now it must be in her file. Showing doggy to Yas turned out to be nice. She didn't ask to hold him, she just admired his red sweater and fuzzy fur. Then she did something River never thought could happen. She reached into her bag and brought out her own teddy bear. It was dark chocolate brown, and had a bright red ribbon around its neck. "His name is Blueberry. I've had him since I was a little girl. I don't remember why I called him that, I was only three. But I love him very much. River was grinning from ear to ear. She was going to like being around Officer Kahn.


	11. The night shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yas has night watch.

River was a little worried when she was told Donna wasn't going to be on duty that night. Yas had been there a couple of weeks, and they had an understanding with each other. Yas was great at mornings, her version of a morning routine was very nice. Not only did River not mind getting up, she almost looked forward to it. Food was never a battle, Yas made sure everything tasted great. But she had never done a night shift before.

Yas came exactly when she was supposed to. "Alright, River, we have some time to kill, what should we do?" River thought for a moment. "I just want to write in my journal for a while." " That is perfect, I'll let you know when you need to get ready. After what seemed like a few minutes, Yas said "River, lights out in in fifteen minutes. Wrap up the writing please." River didn't realize just how long she had been writing, she didn't want to go to bed. But Donna threatened to take doggy away for a week if she didn't behave. Putting down her journal, she started on her night routine. Once every tooth was flossed, every corner of her face washed, including behind her ears, (Amy would be so proud.) and used the toilet, she went straight to bed.  
"Officer Kahn, where is the blanket the Doctor gave me?" " Oh, that's right. I was supposed to see if it was ready. It needed a wash so Clara took it home to follow the instructions for cleaning. It should be back in a few days. I was told you knew. I'm sorry if they forgot to tell you. Why, Clara what are you doing here? "She asked as the young woman walked through the door. " Here is one blanket, all washed and fresh from the dryer. " River was so very happy to have her blanket back. "Thank you so much, Officer Oswald." River said. ( If only Amy were here! River was using her manners and Amy couldn't even see it.) The blanket was nice and soft and warm and fuzzy and everything. Going to bed was going to be awesome! Spreading the freshly laundered on her bed, she finished getting ready.   
The pajamas the Doctor had given her for Christmas were heavenly. They fit just right, the color was nice, and they were cool in the summer and warm in the winter. They were from a planet that made the best pajamas in the galaxy. These never wore out, or needed washing. The color could even change if she so desired. And they had a gun fight scene on them. The cowboys were shooting each other and riding horses. Could there be a better print? River didn't think so. Climbing into bed, River said "Goodnight, Officer Kahn." Then snuggling down while holding doggy tightly, she fell asleep.  
Yas couldn't believe it! Her charge had gone to sleep with no hassle. Donna will be so happy.


	12. On the wrong side of the bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's wrong with River today? And can it be fixed?

"River, are you planning on ever eating that cereal?" Yas asked one rainy day. "I didn't ask for cereal!" She complained. "Now, you know very well they feed you what they feed you here. This is Stormcage Containment Facility, not The Hilton. So eat up, it's good for you." River looked at the bowl of toasted brown flakes. Why couldn't it have been cornflakes? Why Wheaties? Why didn't she get to pick what she ate? With no vortex manipulator she had no way of getting anything else! Life in Stormcage sucked!   
It was mid morning when her stomach growled. "Yas, can I have a snack?" " River, are you joking? You don't get snacks! You know this very well. If you had eaten your breakfast you wouldn't be asking me this! Now, you will just have to wait for lunch. It's your own fault on this one. So I suggest you get moving on making your bed. I let you do it after breakfast and you still haven't. You were supposed to do it before you did anything else. So hop to it! " Grumbling, she made her bed, making sure her special blanket was perfectly laid out. Fluffing her pillow and placing doggy in his place of prominence.  
"See, that took you almost no time at all!" Yas exclaimed. River was not too happy. Not that she didn't like a made bed. Usually she was meticulously clean and painstakingly accurate in making her bed. But today she was not herself.  
"River! Whatever's going on in that head of yours, please share or get back to your lunch." Yas said. " I'm not hungry. " River replied. "Don't you try that again! You wanted a snack a little while back because you were hungry. Eat. Your. Lunch!"   
" No! "  
"Do as I say please."  
" No! And you can't make me! "   
"I can't, but you will be hungry all afternoon. I suggest eating that peanut butter sandwich. "  
River crawled under her cot and stayed there. She actually liked peanut butter sandwiches, but she didn't want one today. She didn't want much of anything really. The cool concrete floor felt nice on her skin. She wanted to stay like this forever. But a concerned Yas came over and asked if she was okay. River didn't know if she was or wasn't alright. She had no answer for the young guard, all she did was look away.   
"River, I know this has nothing to do with your food, but I have a feeling you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I don't know what happened to make you get up on the wrong side of the bed, however, I think I know what will help. An afternoon nap." River looked at her like she had three heads. "I don't know if I want an afternoon nap. Maybe I do. Well, a small one couldn't hurt. Could I have my lunch first?" " Its still there, but you better hurry. "   
River ate her lunch and the thought of a nap became more appealing. "I think I will take that nap after all." She said to Yas. River looked so tired, Yas almost suggested she skip the nap and just go to bed. What had Donna been doing with River all night? She might need to see if any wild parties were going on that she didn't know about. Because if there were, she might just have to shut the fun down.   
Once River settled on top of her cot, Yas went back to filling things out. She peeked in the cell a little later and saw that River wasn't asleep. "Is everything okay? I thought you were taking a nap." " I can't stop thinking I'm forgetting something. " "Well, you flossed this morning, you made your bed, you have had lunch. Other than not having yard time, your day is going as it should. I think you got Donna to keep you up. How long were you up last night?" River shrugged. "Oh, I think you know exactly what time you tricked her into letting you go to bed. How late?" River didn't answer, only looked away. "One?" River shook her head. "Two?" Again, a head shake. " You can't tell me three! No? Three thirty? No! Four? FIVE? Do you mean to tell me you have been up since yesterday? " River nodded. "How did you manage THAT?" " I kept drinking water, and using the toilet. I also read a bit. " "River Song! You are in so much trouble! That was the thing you forgot! You forgot to sleep! You, are taking that nap right now, and tonight, you are going to sleep in your bed on time if not earlier! Do I make myself clear?" River was already asleep. An hour nap wouldn't hurt. Then she would have some time before supper and Donna's arrival.  
When Donna arrived a few hours later, Yas had a little chat about their inmate. "Are you aware River was up all night and hasn't slept? I did get her to take a short nap, but she made sure to pull the wool right over your eyes. Multiple trips to the toilet and many drinks along with secret reading. This can't happen again." Donna was stunned. She never imagined River would act like that, but then she remembered who she was talking about. Of course she would do something like this, it was her M.O. She was known to be sneaky and rather unpredictable. The one night she forgot to check for this behavior was the one night River was waiting for.   
River was now only allowed three bathroom breaks and two cups of water. All reading materials were to remain on the shelves after ten.   
River did not like this new arrangement. She didn't want to do what she was told. But the threat of losing her teddy and visits from the Doctor made her compliant. "Go to sleep, River. You need the rest." Donna said turning down the lights. In a short amount of time, Donna looked in, seeing the sleeping inmate with her teddy in her arms and her thumb in her mouth. Smiling, she went back to her chair and continued with her work. Sometimes, this job made her laugh.


	13. The Doctor's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River is very excited her beloved Doctor is celebrating her 2327th birthday. Will she get to give her a special present?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The term 'Sweet Baboo' is from the comic strip "Peanuts" Sally calls Linus her sweet baboo. It's a term of endearment.

River couldn't help but be excited. For weeks she had been as giddy as a schoolgirl, waiting for this day. She had her present all picked out and wrapped in a special hiding place, her best uniform she cleaned, starched, and pressed by herself, and she even used the good shampoo on her hair. Everything was set. Now the Doctor just had to show up. River waited. Yas came on duty and almost died seeing River looking so nice. River was never up this early. Her best uniform was so crisp and the creases so sharp you could cut yourself just by looking at them. A present was on her bed and she had a grin on her face.   
"River, I know you are excited about the Doctor's birthday, but don't be disappointed if she doesn't show." " She always shows. Always. " River said. "I'm just letting you know now that she might not make it. I don't want you to get too upset if your plans don't go the way you want them to. So if she doesn't show I will let you use the Vortex Manipulator to go yell at her. I did remind her last night, and she said she'd be here at ten on the dot. But River, if she shows up late, you can't get upset. And no going too far away when she does, understood. Please no alien diseases. You don't want to join Missy again, do you?" River did not want that experience again. She didn't want it the first time, and she wasn't planning a repeat visit.  
Nobody likes to wait, and River finds it to be a pain. She was so impatient she couldn't always wait long enough for anyone to place her in cuffs so she could go outside. A visit to Graham was warranted and the waiting list was long. But, when River's name was added to the list, she shot right up to first place. In truth, nobody minded one bit. Five people were taken off at the mere mention of her having an appointment because their depression went away. Another ten dropped out because they no longer were afraid of River. By the time word got around that she was in counseling, Graham had lost over twenty people. The mere thought of River in counseling made everybody else suddenly better. The prison had the happiest inmates and guards that ever existed. People were even skipping down halls and corridors, everybody was being nice. River was finally in therapy. The thought of River being put on medication was enough to make the warden weep.   
But, the appointment wasn't for another week, so River was bouncing off the walls with excitement. Wanting to calm her down, Yas asked if she would like to play a game. "Alright, I guess it's better than nothing." "So, how about a nice game of cards? " " Rummy? " "Rummy!" About three games in , Yas looked at the clock. Ten fifteen. Where was the Doctor? River felt the same. Was her wonderful, sweet, annoying, wife ever coming? Four more rounds, River lost every one. She was watching the clock. Eleven, eleven thirty, twelve.   
River didn't want lunch. Yas could see she was hungry, but the waiting beat out the need for food. One, two, three, three thirty came and River looked like she might cry. By supper time she still didn't want food. Yas made her eat anyways. "Here comes the Choo choo." Yas said, trying to get her to eat. " Come on, open sesame. Just one bite? Please? You like Clara's Alfredo, I've seen you wolf it down. River consented, and ate at least part of her meal.   
When seven came and went she looked like she had given up. When Donna came on, she was crestfallen. On such a special day her Sweetie hadn't even bothered to stop by. Not even for a hug. Coaxing her into bed, Donna felt terrible. Her friend was so looking forward to this day for so long it made her upset the Doctor hasn't shown up. Listening to River cry herself to sleep ripped Donna's heart out. The sobs wracked her body, why hasn't she come? Was she upset about something? Maybe she upset her wife someway? What was the problem? Donna entered the cell, sitting on the edge of the cot, she soothed her charge. Rubbing her back until she slept. Once she could here her soft breathing, she left the cell.  
A few hours later, the TARDIS arrived.Stepping out, the Doctor looked puzzled. Why was River sleeping? Why did Donna have that look on her face? What was going on? "You! How dare you come so late! She has spent the entire day waiting for you. She even cried herself to sleep. I know it's a special day, she wanted to celebrate it with you. But you stood her up. What excuse could you possibly have for this?" "Oh, my love! I'm sorry, so, so, sorry. I thought you remembered, my birthday wasn't today, it's tomorrow." The Doctor ran into the cell and woke her wife.   
" What do you mean by being so late? You ruined everything! I spent all day waiting for you. And now you come? What is the matter with you? " River slapped her a few times for good measure. "River! Please stop hitting me! It hurts! I'm not late, you were too early. My birthday is tomorrow, not today. I said I'd be here for my birthday, I would never give up such a day with you." River hugged her, " Silly me, I'm sorry, Sweetie. I guess I should have looked at the calendar. Of course my sweet baboo wouldn't do any such thing! Well, midnight will be here in a few seconds, do you want to open your present?" "I would love to! Why , River, how did you know? I never told anyone I wanted one of these, how did you figure it out? " "Well, I know you pretty well by now, so it didn't take me long to figure it out." River was so happy to see how her wife loved the toy rabbit. It looked and felt real. Then,it being so late, the Doctor joined River in a good night's sleep.  
In the morning, they took the TARDIS and spent the day having fun. Visiting planets, playing in the TARDIS, enjoying a wonderful day. When River was in her cell again Donna asked how everything went. But there was no sound. River fell asleep without even taking off her shoes.


	14. River, Take Your Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River's medicine is very helpful, now if only she would take it.

The medicine Graham prescribed would have been great, if only River would take it.The first few days were fine, she was calmer, more focused, easier to handle. But by the end of the week she wouldn't take it. "I don't like it! I won't take it, and you can't make me!" She said emphatically , making sure her point got across. Yas just smiled and said "Alright, River. We can try something else." She talked to Clara, and had the pills crushed and placed inside her food. But River was no idiot , she just threw her food at Yas. A new tactic was tried.  
Holding her down was quite a feat. Making sure she swallowed it was like climbing Everest. Keeping her from coughing it back up made playing with sharks seem like child's play. Sedation wasn't very helpful. And every threat seemed to be met with indifference. "I'll take away your yard time." She just shrugged. "I'll starve you for a week!" She laughed. " I'll beat you with a belt. " River just laughed harder. Well, she did, until Officer Potts brought Yas a belt. "You wanted this?" " Yes. She'll learn one way or another. " Yas said, snapping the belt. Calling Officer Ashildr over. River took her pill. She wasn't about to find out what would happen next. But she just went back to her old habits. "You can't make me!" She said every day. " Alright, but if you don't I get your journal. " "You wouldnt!" " Try me. " Just like that, the journal was gone. River begged, pleaded, cried, and took her pill. She took it for a few days, then refused again. So injections were tried. That was really fun. Three very strong guards held her tightly. That was great, they got her the medicine. But, she got a rash from the injection site. So that was not going to work.  
They had two options left. Call the Doctor, or take doggy. Taking doggy would just make things worse. The anger,  
the crying, the depression, the tantrums. No, calling the Doctor was the best bet. River was arguing about the pill, when suddenly, the TARDIS materialized. River was surprised, she didn't expect this visit. The door opened, and a rather angry Doctor stepped out. "Melody Pond! What is wrong with you!?" Hearing her name being used like that she knew she was in trouble. "I hear you won't take your medicine. Is that true?" River nodded. " You are supposed to take it! Yes! Yes! I know about all the punishments and threats. I am not stupid, don't play me for a fool! You really could have gone without the belt, you didn't have to instigate them into doing that. But the last thing I want to hear of us that you don't obey the instructions of Dr. Graham. I will take away doggy, and he can have a nice little vacation with fixit. It's either that, or you swallow those pills, and don't spit them back up! Understood? " River nodded " Good! I will be off, I love you my sweet Melody Pond." The Doctor said, giving her wife a very long hug before leaving.  
Once the Doctor was gone, and Yas was back to work, things calmed down. That evening, when shift changed, Yas had a nice talk with Graham and the Doctor. "You parked the TARDIS outside right?" " Of course! And is all going well? " "Oh, yes." "Any problems with the pills?" Graham asked. " No, no. Thanks for the placebos. The real stuff would have cost a fortune. But it has been helping. Those saline injections were brilliant. I think we got her to take it now. We can start on the real medicine next week.


	15. In which River learns a lesson in coming home late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River left and came back late.

River took the vortex manipulator she stole back from the guards. That was so easy a toddler could have done it. Maybe next time she would get a toddler and get them to. But kidnapping wasn't really her thing. But she was finally in control again, and she was taking a trip! Yas figured this out easy enough, it wasn't hard to tell when she chose to leave. River became nice, giddy, guilty looking. After the medicine fiasco, they finally just gave up, River's tells were unpredictable when she was medicated. So back to just letting River be River it was. And today, she was going on an adventure.   
"Alright, River, enjoy your freedom. Just be back by five of you want supper, but no later than seven! Understood? If you are here at 7:01 you will be in trouble. Seven p.m. On the dot, no later and no exception. Do you get that? Do I make myself clear?" River nodded. " Say it with me now 'I will be back by seven tonight'. Good! Now have a good day, and no unwanted surprises, please. No repeats of the decontamination shower. "  
River smiled and left. Now that she was alone, she had some shopping to do. Her list was rather short, so this shouldn't take long. Stealing without getting caught was thrilling. She somehow snagged four vortex manipulators, a couple of decoys for the guards, they deserved something so a fake one would be perfect. Some hallucinogenic lipstick, a new blaster, some more decoys. When she go to Luna University, she grabbed some of her most treasured items, and hid a few others. Graded papers, taught a class, and attended a meeting. She went back in time to visit her parents, and spent a little while on earth. Not really caring about the time. Nobody would see anything she got anyways, her hiding spots were well masked.   
Yas spent the day searching River's cell for contraband. Knowing she had all day, she took her time looking at everything. Every seem, thread, object, spot, every spot from top to bottom. Pressing on the walls the floor, every object, until something moved. A cubby hole in the wall. And so many things inside, you couldn't see the back. She called for the other guards. Showing them the find, she was congratulated. The head guard got a box and pulled out item after item. Three boxes later, the space was empty, and a spot on the side was found. When they pressed it, the wall swung open. This was the real cache. Making sure there was no booby traps, everything was pulled out. The more they removed, the bigger the place became. It was huge, and everything was removed. The guards found the blue prints and saw the cavity behind the wall. Someone was making another cell but cut it off. Cement and cinder blocks, here they come. But time was ticking. It was only nine,and evening was still going to come.   
Yas was waiting for River, it was 6:58 River had two minutes. Seven came, seven fifteen, eight, nine, Donna had joined Yas at eight. At 11:45, River came home. She had nothing on herself, and she looked fine. "MELODY POND! I TOLD YOU SEVEN! YOU ARE FOUR HOURS AND FORTY FIVE MINUTES LATE! YOU ARE IN TROUBLE!" River gulped, she didn't mean to be late, it just happened. But she was in trouble, again!   
River got the longest lecture about being on time. Yas gave her an entire hour about following the rules, and did she want more time added to her sentence? Once she ran out of steam, Yas said "You are not staying here for a few days. We found one of your little- or should I say large hiding places. Since it was supposed to be a cell, it will take them quite a while to finish working on it. I hope you enjoy the company of Missy for the next month."   
A worse punishment was never found.


	16. I WANT DOGGY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Staying with Missy is terrible. Staying with Missy and not having Doggy was worse.

"Will you please shut up?" Missy asked, River's crying was driving her even more insane than she already was. River just cried harder, too upset to pay any attention to her. "W-w-why c -can't I ha-ha-have doggy?" River cried harder when nobody answered. For three days she had been crying almost non-stop for her bear. "Why can't you just shut it before I get you in trouble? This is too much! Oh, guard! Could you kindly either get that wretched bear, or find a sedative? Give the bear to her and the sedative to me please." The guards weren't laughing.  
"River! In case you haven't noticed it's night, and I would love to get some sleep. Or at least what passes for sleep in here. Stop crying and go to sleep." Missy was firm, but at least she wasn't unkind like she normally was. River tried to sleep, but without her fuzzy friend it was impossible. She would have been fine if the Doctor were there, but she wasn't so River was stuck without her cuddle buddy or her bear. Eventually her body gave in to exhaustion and she slept.  
In the morning, she woke up to find herself very wet. Standing up, she saw a leak in the ceiling. Missy was laughing. "Oh, guard.*hehehe* River had an accident! *Ha ha ha ha ha* I think you switched to big girl pants too soon. *Ha ha ha ha* I guess mommy didn't tell you that you need to Tell a grown up you need to use the potty." Missy was having fun. "Listen, Stupid, It's a leak in the ceiling, Quit picking on your little guest." A guard barked. Missy pretended not to hear. "Does the Doctor help change your pants when you wet yourself, or just put you into diapers?" Ignoring Missy was becoming increasingly difficult, and the next comment drove her over the edge. "Does she treat you like an infant because you can't bear children? I mean, she is a woman now. Was that because she got too frustrated trying to create something that could never happen?" River was seeing red." HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY WIFE LIKE THAT! SINCE YOU SEEM TO BE SO CURIOUS ABOUT OUR PRIVATE LIFE, I TELL YOU. NO, SHE DOESN'T TREAT ME LIKE AN INFANT! IF SHE WANTED TO SHE WOULD SOON REGRET IT. I CHOOSE NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN. THIS DECISION WAS MADE WITHOUT YOU BECAUSE YOU AREN'T A PART OF OUR RELATIONSHIP. I WILL NOT GO IN TO HER REGENERATION BECAUSE IT IS PERSONAL AS YOU WELL KNOW. YOU ARE LUCKY I AM ONLY YELLING AT YOU because... " "Lost your voice? Too bad." Missy just kept on taunting her. River was wet and cold, she was upset at Missy, at the leaky pipe, at herself, at everyone. She was tired, unnappy, and just wanted to go back to her cell. The thing she wanted most was Doggy. Huddling in the farthest corner, she just cried. Once the pipe was patched and River was in clean clothing, she felt a little better. After breakfast She felt even better, but, when she curled up for bed she cried her heart out. "I want DOGGY! Please let me have him, PLEASE!" She begged. But she was just ignored. After an hour and a half of this, Missy couldn't take anymore. Neither could the guards who finally asked if there was a bear named doggy that could be sent to them asap. River was crying so hard the guard had to walk into the cell and give her shoulder a shake. "Here you go, inmate. Now shut up and sleep." River was so happy to have her friend back she snuggled down and fell asleep in seconds. Only one problem existed, Missy looked lonely. She didn't have a bear, or anything. She would like something to snuggle, to call her own. Even a lost mitten was better than nothing. But she was a Stormcage prisoner, and a psych one at that. River had an idea, when her cell was finally given the all clear, River handed some money over to Donna. Telling her what she saw, she asked if she could surprise Missy. After checking with Martha, the plan was out into action. Missy's Birthday was next week, and River wanted to send her a special present. It was just another day for Missy, boring routine, boring cell, boring everything. But a package arrived that said happy birthday on the top. Inside was a warm snuggly blanket, a nice soft pillow, and a stuffed teddy bear with black fur and a little green sweater. There was also a couple books, some warm socks, and a purple sweater for her. A note was at the bottom of the box, curious she opened it, 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY, River.' It said. Missy was surprised! She never got a birthday gift, at least not for a very long time. Although she may loath River, it was a nice gesture. She loved everything. The books were great, the socks kept her feet warm. The sweater was comfy, and going to bed at night was much better. She was warm, more comfortable, and even a better sleeper. But the best thing was the bear. She now has some one to share things with. And this little someone was soft and snuggly. This made Missy's world a better place. "Thank you, River." She whispered, " thank you so very much. ",


	17. River's terribly awful, absolutely deplorable, very, very, bad day.

River didn't sleep well, she couldn't get comfortable. Usually she fell asleep rather quickly, but not last night. So when Yas woke her up she did her best to stay in bed. Nothing worked. "I feel sick." "Get dressed and after breakfast we can see Martha." Was the reply. "I'm too tired." " Not my fault. " "Can't you pretend you forgot to wake me?" " That's just silly! Now get up! Rise and shine! " "NO!" " Cold water comes next, so I suggest if you want to start your day with a warm shower instead of a cold one you get up. " River did not want the cold water treatment so she got up.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" River screamed. ' She really is a screamer,' Yas thought, hoping she would still be able to hear anything. "River, what is wrong?" " This water is freezing! " "You're joking. I only threatened you, the water should be warm " Yas said, walking over and tested the temperature, sure enough, the water was like ice. "Oh, River! Get out of that shower before you catch cold." Once dry and in some warm clothes, Yas handed her a cup of hot coffee. It did help to warm her up, and make her feel a little better. Breakfast was late. Not a little late, more like late late. By the time someone entered, they brought in some water and a few slices of plain bread. "The kitchen is having problems with just about every appliance including the toaster. You'll just have to live with this, sorry." The guard said, shrugging his shoulders. River almost cried, this was becoming a very bad day. " Let me see what I can do about toasting that and getting you something else to drink. " Yas said taking the food away from her. Leaving Joshua in charge, she went to the guard's cafeteria, toasted and buttered the bread, and found some milk. When she returned, River was happy to have a better breakfast. "Ank oo as." She said with a mouthful of toast. Maybe today would get better.

The day didn't get any better, as a matter of fact, it got worse. After breakfast, River was looking forward to her thrice weekly yard time. She loved this time, she lived for this time. It kept her sane and slightly subdued. But today, she was outside for less than ten minutes when somehow, the guard dogs got loose. Their kennels were being cleaned and someone wasn't too careful with those dogs. Suddenly, those mean looking animals happened to lay eyes on River. She wasn't their handler,she was wearing the clothing of an inmate, and she wasn't where she should be. She must be trying to escape! Those dogs knew escaping was unacceptable, it was their job to prevent it. And they always did their job!  
In a flash, those dogs ran across the yard and tackled River. Screaming, she had no recourse but to protect herself as best she could. The dogs ripping into her clothing and flesh, sending the guards into a frenzy. It took only a few moments but to River it seemed like a lifetime. One visit to Martha and some stitches and bandaids later, she was back in her cell. Yas was right there with open arms and a turned down bed. River collapsed into her arms, sobbing and shaking. "Oh, you just can't catch a break today, can you?" She said, tucking River into bed, the sedatives were starting to work. "Here's Doggy, now go to sleep." River shut her eyes.   
A few minutes later the sound of the TARDIS could be heard. Before there was even enough time for it to settle down, the Doctor burst through those doors so fast they almost flew off the hinges. " WHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS MY WIFE? " The Doctor was seething, Yas had never seen the Doctor so angry. "Doctor, please lower your voice, she's trying to sleep." Yas said. " Oh, sorry. What happened? " "From what I was told they were cleaning out the kennels and didn't secure the dogs who saw River and did as they were trained to do. It wasn't their fault, they were just doing their jobs. The people who left the dogs unattended are to blame, they know never to clean the kennels when someone is in the yard. They are supposed to clean them in the evenings when nobody is out. I don't know what caused them to do it this morning, but the warden will make sure it never happens again.  
The Doctor ran into the cell and cradled her wife. "Oh, my poor, poor darling! It's alright, I'm right here now." River was groggy from being woken up by the Doctor 's yelling. "Sweetie, please put me down, you're hurting me." " Oh,I'm sorry, River. You're awake! Oh,are you okay my love? " "No.my day is just so bad! But I am very tired now, please let me sleep, Yaz can tell you all about it." And Yas did. Other than the dogs,everything else was unavoidable. For the most part, things calmed down and the Doctor left.   
The day was almost over and supper arrived. Clara had heard of the attack, and sent up some home made alphabet soup made just for her. Her kitchen had been fixed, and she was going at it with guns blazing. Once River had spelled out every dirty word she could she polished off the soup. (Hey, it's alphabet soup, you gotta spell something) Then she had a few things she needed to do and needed help doing them, and it was back to bed. Then she said something that surprised both Yas and Donna. "Could one of you read me a story? " "Sure? If that's what you want, I guess." Donna said. So she sat on the edge of the cot and said " Once upon a time there was a cobbler and his wife... "


	18. From the author

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just needed to explain myself regarding this story.

Hello, you can skip this chapter of you wish. Don't worry, this isn't the end of the story. It's an explanation about the story. So, here goes.

Q: Why do I write River as a vulnerable, almost child like character instead of the way the character is in the show?   
A: River is a child of trauma. She never got to really be a normal child. So her need for a comfort object has more to do with feelings of insecurity. Projecting a need for comfort is normal. (Think paci, blankie, Stuffed animal, etc) So Doggy isn't just a toy, but a vital part of her need to feel safe.

Q: Why do I write the guards as understanding compassionate individuals who act like parents or friends rather than guards?

A: The same reason for the bear. security and unconditional caring. same for the tantrums. 

Q: How.so you know so much about children of trauma?

A: I was one.


	19. A Pet For River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems strange giving any inmate a pet, especially if that inmate is named River Song. But psychiatrist Graham O'Brien has ordered for one to be given to her to try and teach her empathy. What kind of pet would work best?

"Maybe a hamster," Yas said. "No, too messy and smelly. Besides, she's likely to let it go just for laughs." Said Donna, trying to think up a better idea. "We really should stay away from anything that can get lose, or might kill. No dogs! Not after that attack. I showed her a picture of mine and she hid under the cot. Maybe a bunny?" " I like that. Trainable, rather easy to care for, unable to climb, no need for walks. Not to mention cute and cuddly. " "That sounds perfect, Donna. I'll talk to the Doctor and see what she thinks.  
At first the Doctor wasn't too sure about letting her wife have a pet, River was not known for being very gentle.But after talking with Graham she thought it was a great idea. Giving her a bunny might bring out a softer River. Teach her empathy. So it was decided, River was getting a pet. At the pet store Yas found exactly what was needed. The nice salesman helped her pick out the perfect litter box, bowls, food, toys, and a book. A trip to animal rescue brought a nice trained black and white bunny named 'Sunshine.' River was going to be in for a surprise.  
"River, I brought you something." Yas sang walking in to work one morning. She was late which was unusual, but once River saw why it wouldn't matter.Yas had placed the box with the supplies near the entrance and brought it to the cell. River saw a big brown box with her name on it, and looking inside became puzzled. What was she going to do with a litter box and pet dishes? And what were the rabbit food and toys all about? "Is this a joke?" She asked. "No, River, take a look at the bottom of the box." Donna said. Looking deep inside there was a book. It said 'How To Care For Your New Pet Rabbit.' Now River was very puzzled, she wasn't a rabbit, and she didn't have one. They must think she really was an idiot. Seeing the look on her face, Yas said "River, your are getting a pet bunny rabbit. See?" Yas brought out the creature, snuggling it to her cheek. "This is 'Sunshine' and she is your new pet." Yas opened the cell door and brought the bunny with her. "Hold out your hands." She instructed, giving the creature to River. "Oh, oh, oh,! She is so soft and cuddly!" River exclaimed holding Sunshine close to her. Donna and Yas smiled at each other, this was gonna be great! River loved Sunshine. She spent hours reading the care book to go bits, and following everything to the letter. She loved watching her new friend eat and play. Petting and brushing now took up River's time. "River, lights out in thirty seconds." Warned Donna one night. "Five more minutes please." River begged. " No! You know the rules, lights out means bed. Eleven is quite late enough, and both you and SunShine need sleep. By this point the rabbit must be begging for sleep. Now into bed, and before you ask, the answer is no. Sunshine has her own bed and you have yours. I suggest you keep it like that. Absolutely no trading beds or sleeping in her bed with her. Now, get ready and be under those covers in two minutes. "

Sunshine had other ideas about where to sleep. The bed wasn't to her liking, but the floor was just perfect. Right in the very center of the cell would be the ideal spot for a snooze. This made Donna chuckle, a floor was better than a bed if you were a rabbit. Sometime in the night, a movement caught Donna's eye. It was Sunshine taking a big leap and landing squarely on River's cot right at the end. Washing her face she settled down and slept right there. Donna almost laughed, River got her wish anyways.  
In the morning, River tried to share her breakfast with her new pet. "River, I don't think rabbits eat oatmeal. You need to give her the rabbit food, remember? Since its your yard day why don't you bring in some clover and grass for her? She would really like that." River thought for a moment, and then had a an idea. "Yas, do you think I could bring Sunshine into the yard with me? I think she would like that." " Let me check, but i don't see any reason not to. They moved he dogs to a different area and they have no way of getting to you now. Let me ask. "  
At the stroke of ten, River went outside with Sunshine in her arms. She loved spending time in the yard, maybe even more than River. Sunshine was hopping all over the place, making River laugh. She twisted and turned, raced and hopped, exploring the yard with everything she had. When she did stop, it was to eat some grass and clover. By the time they had to go in she had exhausted herself. And River was pleased as punch with her new friend.  
River really cared for her pet, and she became a little more attentive to another being 's needs. It was working, River was becoming more empathetic,she seemed to care for her friend. They played together, at together, used the yard together, and even shared a bed. River would hold and pet Sunshine, talking to her, telling her everything she couldn't tell anyone else. She even read to her. Sunshine didn't mind what book, never said "that's boring, I don't like it." But best of all, River finally started to gain empathy.

River loved that rabbit, she was upset one day when the Doctor came and told her the rabbit was needed on a different palnet. The rabbit population had dwindled and they needed to help bring being up the population numbers. River was very sad to lose her beloved buddy, but the Doctor promised she could come with them and let her go herself.  
Once in the planet, River and the Doctor took Sunshine to a rabbit reserve. The people were awestruck by the new addition. They had rarely seen a black and white bunny. "Thank you so much! This rabbit is very rare here, we only have one and he is lonely. Now we can bring in more black and white rabbits. We protect them here, this is a sanctuary, nobody will hurt your rabbit or her offspring. You can always visit and pet her and the others if you like. She'll make Burt very happy. The school children will spend time petting and cuddling her, they love to come here. It's also a spot for picnics. She is so nice, I think she might become a very popular rabbit. Thank you again."  
When they left River cried, but she knew it was the best thing for her friend. And when they went back in a few months they found that Sunshine had a litter of babies. River and the Doctor had lots of fun playing with the little things. Sunshine came over to River, sniffed her, jumped high and settled down in her lap. She loved River, and she proudly showed off her babies. River was glad to see her friend had a family of her own. She smiled, and gave her a hug and kiss before leaving.   
Back in Stormcage, River was a little lonley, but when she saw a black and white stuffed bunny sitting on her pillow, she became just a little bit happier.   
"River, do you wanna play battleship?" Yas asked. "Of course I do! Thank you for the toy." " I saw that and thought Sunshine had left her home. I knew it must come and stay with you. " "Thanks. Now can we play?" " Of course, I'll get the game.


	20. But, I don't want help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River has just come back from an amazing adventure. Unfortunately, she was hurt. Now she needs help. But River is very independent and tough. She will do everything without help. Even if it kills her.

Usually when River came home she was just fine. A cold or flu here or there was to be expected, along with the odd parasite. Today she came back and was suspiciously quiet and still. She wasn't writing in her journal, or greeting Yas, and she didn't want supper. She made no complaint about going to bed, and didn't want to do anything with Donna. Barely taking the time and care she usually took in her teeth and gingerly using the toilet were very odd. Donna was puzzled. But when she tried to go to bed with her shoes on, Donna became worried, and a little scared.  
"Melody Pond! What are you doing? You can't wear shoes to bed, and you need to sleep under the covers, not on top of them. You have said almost nothing to me, refused to eat, and have no desire to do anything. You even went on a little adventure and haven't written anything about it. Something is wrong and you need to tell me what it is." River had tears in her eyes as Donna entered her cell. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" River carefully, painfully, said. "Martha." " You need Martha? Alright, let's go to see Martha. "  
"I am so sorry to get you out of bed, but River is having some issues. I need you asap!" Donna said, and in under thirty minutes Martha was standing there assessing River. " Ouch! Your jaw is dislocated, let me fix that. " She said, forcing River's jaw back in place. The crunch of bone grinding on bone as the jaw was put back was painful to hear. But once it was in place, River started to feel better. "Are you feeling better?" Asked Donna. River nodded.  
Martha took a closer look at River and sent her for X-rays. "You have in addition to your jaw, two very broken arms, one broken leg, a crushed foot, one broken hand, some broken ribs, and two broken elbows. Not to mention internal bruising and a concussion. You are one very lucky lady, River Song. Whatever you did, you escaped,and lived to tell about it. Casts, and rest, a few pain relievers and bed rest. "You should be fine in a few weeks, but, you will need help with everything in the meantime. So, I suggest you go to sleep here, and I'll check on you in the morning."  
River hurt, but she felt better at the same time. When she heard she was spending the night, she became very nervous. Where was doggy going to sleep? Would the other patients make fun of her? Would they take him away? Call her a baby? Tease her? Hurt him? River had tears in her eyes, Donna noticed and said "River, it's okay. I will bring you doggy, and sit with you. That's my job, and I am not going to lose it just because you're staying here." She felt better knowing Donna would be right there to help her.  
After tucking her in, Donna got some coffee and went back to her book. Having no paper work to fill out was rare, and she was going to relish every second of it. With River asleep, she was having a nice little snooze herself. When she was woken by someone calling her name. "Officer Noble. Can I have some water?" " Of course, River, I'll get you some. Is there anything else you need? " River shook her head.  
When Donna brought her the water she tried to help River drink it. She was having none of it. Nobody was going to help her with anything. "River, you have both arms in casts, you can't do this yourself, you need help." But she was adamant! Nobody was helping her. Which meant that she wouldn't be getting that water unless she could figure out how. She tried one way, then another, and still another. When she thought it was possible she went for it. She was soaked and still thirsty. "I told you! Now can I help you?" Donna asked. River shook her head . "Let me help you get some dry things on." River looked like she thought the idea idiotic. She needed no help from anyone , she could do this herself. But in reality it wasn't happening. She just laid there, cold, wet, thirsty, and in pain. Donna got a second cup of water and held it for River this time. "You know, if you let me help you, you could be in dry clothing, right ?" Donna asked. River knew she was right, but she wasn't getting any more help. So, even though she was no longer thirsty, her body still hurt, and she was still uncomfortable, she would just stay like that. "River, you need help. You can't brush your teeth by yourself. Look at the mess you already made, you really need help. Please let me help you!" Yas pleaded, but River didn't want help. "Alright, River, we can get back to this later. Let's do some other things. How about the toilet?" River stared at her in amazement. "I need no help using the toilet, thank you very much!" " How about that shower? I was given instructions on how to do it. " River thought for a moment, she could use one, and she smelled like a toothpaste factory. So yes, it couldn't hurt. "River, please let me get someone to help you! You can't do everything with those casts on!" Yas was enjoying this quiet River. With her jaw too painful to use, she had to stay silent. But that didn't mean she couldn't get her point across. And right now it was being made very clear that help from anyone was not welcome. Yas took the upper hand and called for a nurse. The nurse that helped took no notice of River's behavior, and just did her job. She even got River dressed. Yas complimented her on her style. "After fifteen years, you know how to do this pretty well. Just call and one of us will come help you." The nurse helped get River dressed, now Yas needed to help her with the rest.She took the bull by the horns and forced the toothbrush into River's mouth. She didn't seem to mind having help this time. She allowed Yas to brush her hair, and really enjoyed directing her on making the bed. "For someone who has a painful jaw,you are bossy!" Yas said. River laughed it was funny seeing someone else make her bed. When breakfast came, Yas put her foot down. River would not be feeding herself and that was final! River consented, only because she didn't want that nurse to come back and help her. Yas was very good at this. She didn't feel babyish, or like an invalid. Yas was also great at getting her to lay down. River wasn't a big fan, but it was better than standing. Letting Yas help her with the toilet was never going to happen. "But, River, you need to go. I can see you do, the nurse can see you do. Everyone can see that but you! Now let the nurse help you, or you will be very embarrassed." An embarrassing accident was not on the list of things to do, so she let the nurse help her. "I'm sorry,but I need to tuck you in." Donna said. River wasn't fond of being put to bed by anybody. But right now, she needed to be tucked in. Donna made sure to do everything right. Soon, River was comfortable and getting sleepy. As she drifted off, she thought to herself 'Maybe it isn't so bad letting Yas and Donna help me. I wouldn't have anyone to tuck me in, or brush my hair. Maybe I do need some help after all.Once I can talk without pain, I'll ask for help more often. At least until they take the casts off.'


	21. New bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River's cot is wearing out after 45 years of use. What does she think of the idea and will she accept her new bed?

For the fourth time this week River didn't sleep well. She had to be careful not to make her cot fall off the wall. Laying perfectly still, she couldn't kept on cramping from the lack of movement. Yas and Donna and every guard, inmate, and staff member knew that if River didn't get her forty winks she was a bear. Nobody knew this better than the Doctor, who had stayed away until she was sure there would be no spousal abuse from River. She remembered the last time she had a black eye for a week, and that was just for asking if she wanted any laundry washed! The TARDIS was not very happy with her child, and made sure she apologized to the Doctor, who was only trying to be nice.   
A new cot was in order. River was in the yard and enjoying the sunshine. Sitting back against the sun warm building, taking a nap. When Yas brought her back to her cell there was a brand new cot where her old one used to be. River was a little apprehensive about it at first, she hadn't asked for a new bed. Nobody asked her if she wanted one. It had just been assumed that since she needed one the logical conclusion was to get her one. But apparently she had other ideas. "Why do I need a new bed?" She asked Yas. " Because your old one was worn out. " "But I didn't ask for one." " Its been forty five years, you need a new one. And you belong to UNIT, you have no choice. "  
No choice. She 'Belonged' to UNIT. She was the 'property' of UNIT. She had no choice in life, she wasn't a person anymore. Most of the other inmates had autonomy, she didn't. Missy didn't. They were nothing more than property. Not that they weren't cared for, they were given food and water, clothing, medical care, exercise, access to hygiene, and a place to sleep. Their clothing, bedding, and that stupid metal band around their wrists screamed their status. Other inmates had different uniforms, they didn't wear a metal band, they were never referred to as 'property.' They almost had run of the place, you could hardly tell they were inmates. But not River or Missy. They were 'property ' They wore the badge of humiliation.  
"I didn't want a new bed! I liked my old one." She informed Donna later on. " I do not want to hear another word out of your mouth! It's bedtime and you can either sleep in your bed, or on the floor. " River chose the floor. It was hard and cold, smelled like disinfectant, and River couldn't get comfortable. But she was not going to... Well, it couldn't hurt to try it,maybe just for a moment or two. Donna watched as River climbed into her new bed. It was nice, softer than the old one, more comfortable. And before she knew it, River was sound asleep in her new bed.  
Yas couldn't wake her in the morning. She thought River had died until she saw some movement. It had been so long since she had slept this hard,Yas just let her sleep. River really did like the new bed after all.


	22. Too many thing to do.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River has appointments. Lots of appointments, and all in one day!

"Come on, River, we have to hurry if we want to be on time. We have a busy day!" Yas encouraged. River was not happy about any of this. She had to get up early, leave early, and do everything early. Because of this, she hadn't had time for breakfast, and a tired and hungry River was a bad thing. "Why do I have to go? I don't need to see anyone. I'm fine." " I know, and I'm sorry, but there was a mix up and every appointment got scheduled on the same day. I don't want to do this either, but I have to, so I do. " With that, it was off to see the specialists UNIT sent.  
The eye doctor was first. Unfortunately, they were behind about ten people. River HATED waiting. 'if only I could kill a few of the others, it would move us along faster. ' Sensing what she was thinking, Yas said "River if you move from your spot, I will make sure you spend the rest of your life in a small dark box, eat nothing but bread and water, and are never allowed out and you will never see doggy or the Doctor again. Understood?" River gulped and nodded. She understood perfectly well and would rather spend a lifetime with Missy than ever do that. So, she sat still, waiting her turn. Once the exam was done, she had the dentist. An even longer line was there for the dentist. River was frustrated, hungry and tired. Once she was done there, the dentist said she was the best patient, with the best teeth he had seen so far. Next stop, haircut. Not bad, most inmates wanted shaved heads or very short hair. Long hair was rare. River got the usual.  
It was lunchtime, and River was hungry. She didn't want anything more than her bed and some food. All she got was a sandwich and a bench to sit on. River wasn't happy. But the pace picked up again, soon. Physical, which took several hours because someone forgot to mention her two hearts and Time Lord biology.Then everything went to pot. Once this was all done, and a few comments were made about making her into a medical specimen. Yas and River left. "Can we please go back? I want my cell." River pleaded. She was tired, hungry, scared, and ready to call it a day. Was it finally time to go home? "Alright, River, we can go home. You need to get some rest."  
After supper , Donna came on. "River, how did your day go?" She asked. River burst into tears! "Why, what's the matter?" Donna asked. Yas opened the cell door and both women went to comfort their friend.  
" They want to take me and turn me into a specimen. They said they want my hearts, please don't let them do that. Don't let them put me in an enclosure, please! Don't let them take me. " "Oh, that's why you seemed so scared when we left. That must be why your appointment was do was long. Oh, no! No! Nobody is going to hurt you. " Yas wrapped her arms are River, Donna did the same, making River feel safe and protected. Being so tired, she didn't mind going to bed. In her pajamas, tucked up with doggy, she slept. Donna was very busy all night. Nightmare, after nightmare, question, after question. Crying, fear, wet sheets. How someone could produce that much sweat Donna didn't know, but at least it wasn't pee. By daybreak, River was finally back to sleep. She had curled up under the cot and fell asleep there. Yas didn't bother to wake her. After such a horrible night and the things from the day before, River could sleep as long as she wanted. But the Doctor was coming. Yas made sure she knew what had happened. She made sure Martha knew what had happened. She even went to far as to let Jack Harkness know. All three were going to be there around eleven. River woke around nine, still apprehensive, she didn't want to see anyone, but when she was told who it would be, she was fine. All were assembled in the board room, the Doctor, Martha, Jack, the Warden, Yas, and River. "River," the Warden said gently, "what happened yesterday?" "I had my physical, they saw my two hearts and body temperature, and my age. When i told them I had Time Lord DNA, they started whispering about taking me away. Making me some sort of research specimen, cutting me open, studying me like an animal. I don't want to be put in an enclosure and poked and prodded. I DON'T!" River started to cry. The Doctor was furious , how dare they do that to anyone. Especially when that person was her wife! Martha and the Warden were incensed. These people got through how? But Jack looked like he was going to murder whoever said such things! "Tell me the people you had come in! NOW!" He shouted . Being given the information he asked for, he left. Everybody comforted River and said they would never let that happen. She felt better, knowing she was safe. Three days later the company they used couldn't be found anywhere. Nobody knew what happened to the people working there. The new medical company was personally vetted by UNIT and Torchwood. River was back to her normal self, and as far as everyone was concerned, that was how things should be.


	23. Christmas in Stormcage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yas experiences her first Christmas at Stormcage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does not have much dialogue.

Snow was gently falling, and the build-up of tiny white flakes made the exterior of Stormcage look rather charming to the unknowing. Those who did know what it was just sighed saying, "I almost feel sorry for them. Especially that one killed, the Greatest Man in the universe. No happiness for her, doesn't deserve any." One man said to his friends. "I know what you mean! Those in Stormcage have nothing. That's what you get when you are the worst criminals in the galaxy." But they were very wrong.  
Stormcage Containment Facility was rather festive. The tree was decorated, popcorn and cranberries were strung, everyone had special family visits. Presents were exchanged with family and friends. Lots of hot cocoa and movies. Many of the rather simple rules were relaxed, cookies made, ornaments made, snowball fights, snowmen, and snow angels. If everyone really knew, they would be shocked by the sight. Yes, Stormcage was not what they expected. It was probably the only prison who's inmates almost had as much power as the board of directors. Mostly the term 'prison' didn't apply in the typical sense. But nobody knew that there was a place where none of the same rules applied. They knew there were supposed to be two very dangerous inmates. Even more dangerous than they were. The name 'River Song' made them shudder. Supposedly, she and another inmate were in a place known as 'UNIT X'. Nobody had ever seen either one of them. Nobody knew if they really existed. Most thought it was a myth, 'UNIT X' didn't exist. No prisoners where there, it was made up to scare them into behaving. An organization called 'UNIT' was nothing more than a story used to scare new inmates. It couldn't possibly exist, right? But it did exist. It was very real, and for those who lived there it was no myth. The contrast was undeniably visable. The cells were always locked. not that it made much difference for River, but Missy couldn't get out. There were more guards than anyone else knew about, and there were almost no restrictions on punishments. Worse of all, no decorations, or movies, snowball fights, snowmen, not cocoa with marshmallows, or even a candy cane. Nobody knew about this, if they did the festive mood might not be so cheery. That's not to say there was no celebrations. Oh, they did celebrate, just not like everyone else. River would find out what Missy wanted, if she wanted to send something to someone, and if she needed anything. River did place stipulations on what could be given. Last year Missy wanted to give the Doctor cyanide laced candy canes. River said no, killing the Doctor was her job. This year Missy wanted to give the Doctor laxative filled jelly babies. River said that was okay, as long as they didn't get shared with anyone. River was giving the Doctor a new sweater. And there was a new set of tools for the TARDIS. She was planning on giving Missy a skunk, or a disease that came with boils, or a rattlesnake. Since she couldn't decide which one, she would just send her a copy of 'The Little Prince.' Yas and Donna were getting a compliant, practically perfect River for a week. She was going to make it longer, but one week was enough. They could not get too used to her acting nice all the time, and she would drive herself insane in the process.

The Doctor was stuck on what to get River for Christmas. She wasn't a big fan of candy, and she didn't need clothing. She didn't need a new dress or jewellery. A telescope was stupid. Oh, she would like that, yes. She would be delighted with everything! Maybe even the deluxe sets. Oho! That would be fun. Guards couldn't give or receive gifts. Yas and Donna found something they could give River that wasn't a gift. They just knew she would love it.  
Christmas eve saw a very good River go to bed on time, and a very happy Donna. The Doctor came for a secret visit to exchange presents. She wanted to stay and bring her wife back to the TARDIS for the big day. Since she couldn't, there was a secret surprise tucked in River's gift.  
River was up and eating her breakfast, blueberry pancakes and maple syrup! She also had bacon and coffee. Yas and Donna knew a good thing when they saw it. The tag that said River would be good for a whole week was the best present. Missy loved the book, and read it right away. She thought it so wonderful she turned it over and read it again. The Doctor loved the sweater, and thanked Missy for the treats, and wondered how she knew exactly what she needed.  
The TARDIS loved the new tools. She gave River the happiest thank you she could the next time she visited. River opened the Doctor's gift. She smiled from ear to ear when she saw a ultra deluxe edition toy dig site. She could have hours of fun and make a mess that got everywhere at the same time! Her wife knew her too well. The whole day was fun for everyone, including Missy. The Doctor gave her a goldfish. She had always wanted one, not that they had pets as kids. She couldn't do much where she was now, and the Warden and UNIT didn't mind. But the best present was the secret surprise River got. Coordinates for a special rendezvous with the Doctor.


	24. GO TO BED, RIVER!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's one of those nights. River is restless, and Donna gets the brunt of it.

It's not that River hadn't gone out on an adventure lately, quite the opposite. She had just come back a few days ago from a very terrifying battle with the Doctor. They were chased by weeping angels all over this planet. It made her long so much for her cell, she forgot where she lived for a moment. When she remembered it was a prison, she really didn't care. Any place, a box under a bridge, or one of those sentences she had on some planet or time period. Chained to a wall in a dirty prison, beaten and starved, that would work too. Anything but weeping angels! Keeping her eyes open made them hurt. Running backwards was not helpful, and the scolding the TARDIS usually gave her for leaving Stormcage was enough.  
When she returned, covered in dirt, blood, sweat and scrapes, the usual slap on the wrist and a " DON'T DO IT AGAIN! " were given. But there was no heart in it anymore. Now it really was a slap on the wrist and someone saying "Please, Stay, please? " When she first escaped, they went ballistic! She was in solitary confinement, (no Missy, yet.) and no yard time for a month. It was incredible what several years can do to mellow the guards and staff.

"River, it's lights out in ten minutes and you haven't so much as brushed your teeth. Please get ready or I shall turn off the lights completely and you can get ready in the dark." Donna knew River wouldn't leave, she had no desire to escape. But the threat only brought a rather rude comment about Donna's mother, what physically impossible things Donna should do to herself, where she could go, and what she could do once she got there. "INMATE! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO A GUARD IN THAT MANNER!" Donna yelled. River didn't care. She just ignored her and made a few rude gestures.   
Donna went into the cell and took doggy. It had worked in the past, but not today. Today all she got was some threats. "River, please, tell me what's wrong." Donna asked. But all she got was silence. "Wait a minute, are you scared to go to sleep?" River gave an almost imperceptible nod. Going over to her, Donna said, "Why didn't you tell me? I could never think any less of you for being scared. You know that! Everyone who has ever traveled with the Doctor has been scared to sleep on occasion. Why don't you get ready, and I'll do something I have never done before." She got ready so fast it made Donna's head spin. But once she was done and standing in front of Donna, who had brought her chair into the cell. " Why don't you get in bed and I'll tuck you in? " River was surprised! Nobody tucked her in besides the Doctor. Well, her parents tried, and she let them do it a few times. But the whole process made her feel... She wasn't ready to think on how that made her feel.   
Being tucked in by Donna was different. She pulled the covers up, handed doggy back, gave her a pat on the head, and said "good night." Then she sat in the cell, and read her book.


	25. Doggy is missing!

One day, River work up as usual, took her usual shower, wore her usual uniform, used her usual tooth brush, and did her usual hair brushing before placing it in a ponytail. Everything was perfectly normal. Then she made her bed. Yas was getting River's breakfast when suddenly she heard a scream. Giving the other guard back the food, she bolted to River's cell. "River! Are you okay? What happened?" "He's gone! He isn't anywhere!" River cried. "Who is gone,?" " D-D-D-DOGGY! " River started to cry. "Hey Khan! You want this or not?" The other guard asked. " I'm sorry, Alex, not today. There is a problem here that requires more attention, and it will just get cold. " "You mind if I eat it?" " Go right ahead. "  
"River, are you sure it isn't anywhere? Maybe you threw him somewhere in your sleep?" "Don't you think I thought of that!? I looked everywhere! There isn't much space in here, and there are not many places to hide. He's gone for ever!" She cried. Yas entered the cell and sat down beside River, giving her a hug. "Maybe he needed a vacation, a change of scenery." " Yas, he wouldn't go on vacation without me! " River cried harder, making Yas wished River was small so she could take her on her knee and hold her close.  
All morning long, River cried. "River, it's yard time. Don't you want to go out in the sunshine?" Yas asked hopefully. River shook her head, she wasn't going to lose anything else, especially not her journal. She just laid on her bed, clutching her journal. Crying so much made River very tired, soon she was asleep.  
Yas looked at the sleeping form of the inmate who was nothing like people said. One moment she was killing people and stealing, and the next she was crying for her teddy. She loved the Doctor, but the way she showed it made others scratch their heads. River was a complex person alright, but she never seemed to mind. Knowing River sleeping was a River not in distress. Yas made inquiries as to the bear. She sent a note to every department she could think of. She even woke Donna to ask if she knew, she didn't. By supper time, River was picking at her food. "Melody Pond! Please eat your food!" A voice said coming down the hall. When the person was standing in front of River's cell, all she did was look up and shrug. "Well,are you going to at least acknowledge your wife?" Asked the Doctor. River just looked at her lap and let the tears silently fall. "Yas, is everything okay?" Inquired the Doctor. "No, Doctor, I'm afraid it isn't. Somehow Doggy took off last night. River has been beside herself all day, I haven't gotten her to eat a thing. She wouldn't go outside, no food or any type of sustenance. She won't stop crying, and she cried herself to sleep earlier. The Doctor took Yas' chair and sat next to her wife. "Honey, I know you miss him, but you have to eat something. These beans look good, I know Clara has a way with beans. Please, a bite, for me? Here comes the choo- choo! No? Alright my love. Why don't we sit on your bed and you can tell me all about it. " The Doctor led her over and held her tight. "You are going to find him, we are going to find him." The Doctor just let River cry. Searching the cell again was no help. They took everything out, and put everything back. No bear. River was fastidious and nothing was ever out of place in the cell. Her bed still held the blanket she got for her birthday, and the little toy rabbit, but no teddy bear. She had her journal, a pen,and books, pictures of her and the Doctor, and a few of her parents.She even had a tube of hallucinogenic lipstick that Yas confiscated. Now was not the time to scold River for having that. But once the toy was found, she could be sure to read the riot act. When Donna came on, she found everyone searching for something. "Hello, what are you all looking for?" " River lost her bear. I asked you earlier if you had seen it, remember? " Donna looked confused, she didn't remember answering the phone. "Yes, around 1:30 this afternoon. You told me out hadn't seen him." Yas replied. "I'm sorry, I must have been sleeping rather hard. I do know where Doggy is! He's right here." Donna said a she pulled a furry, fuzzy, doggy! "HOW DARE YOU TAKE DOGGY! YOU THIEF!" River scolded. " River, I didn't take doggy from you. Remember last night? One of his eyes came loose and you asked me if I knew how to fix the eye because you aren't allowed needles and I wasn't going to lose my job just to fix him? You asked me to take him home. And who are you calling a 'Thief'? " Asked Donna. "I also washed and brushed him, see?" River saw and hugged her bear tight. He smelled like lilacs again, and his fur looked great. "Thank you, Donna." She said. After all was said and done, The Doctor tucked her wife into bed and left. River got out of bed once the TARDIS was gone and picked up her journal. In the middle of writing, Yas said, "now that we have the bear back, we really should put a note about doggy when one of us has to take him for washing." Donna agreed, every six months or so would be a good time to wash him. They just had to be very careful cleaning him. Yas turned to leave, but first she said "I took your lipstick, no unwanted hallucinations! No yard time the rest of the week. And before you think about asking, I gave it to the Doctor. Sleep well, River. " River didn't care about that. She just wanted to go to bed. Hugging doggy, she smelled the lilac scent, and feeling contented, she went went to sleep.


	26. Contraband

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River is in huuuuuugggggggeeeeeeee trouble!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slapper, slap, slapjack, etc is a weapon that may be used by police and other, for protection. The version in this story is leather with a metal center. The police no longer carry these as they are quite painful and damaging. There is a difference between it and a night stick.

"INMATE SONG!" Yas was looking at River's cell and saw that the usually fastidious inmate had a horrid looking cell. What was worse, she was no where to be found! Yas was gonna kill her this time! Just as she was about to let everyone know that River had left the building and should be back soon, she was standing right in front of Yas. River was in a ripped rag that must have been clothing at one point in its life. Her hair was a mess and she was covered in what Yas could only call indescribable muck! "INMATE! Into that shower NOW!" Yas yelled.  
River did as she was told. Yas took a broom handle and removed whatever it was River had been wearing, placing fresh clothing and a towel where she could get to them. River was not pleased when Yas made the shower ice cold, yelping and jumping out of the shower. "Yas chuckled, " Serves you right, leaving without cleaning your cell. Whatever makes you tick, I don't know! "  
Making sure no creepy crawling critters were in River's hair, and forcing her to take medicine to kill any internal parasites was rather tedious. But at least she didn't bring home any little friends. Yas was elated there were no bigger 'friends' either. When River was shut in her cell, Yas said "INMATE, clean your cell NOW!  
And for every piece of contraband you will be eating tuna noodle casserole with a side of Brussel sprouts for a week! So I suggest you start by handing over your bedding, at least me putting it in with the other items for washing gives you time to hide things."

River really handed everything over, not too happily when she realized Yas meant ALL her bedding, and Yas had a field day with the contraband. " One tube of hallucinogenic lipstick, two tubes of what appear to be some form of ultra sticky glue, and four vortex manipulator chargers! Oh, this is at least three weeks of casserole, Brussels sprouts, and six weeks oatmeal. And you just got through the sheets! Oh, you put everything outside your cell so I can see it. I am not having you making a fool of me!  
What have we here? Vortex Manipulator heaven? Oh, is that a blaster? A knife! Three guns and a box of bullets. Three more tubes of lipstick, and five more of glue? What are you up to? You left your cell in such a state you forgot to hide your contraband. You must really be a glutton for punishment, River. Now we can add no yard time for three months and no visits for two! I'll let the Doctor know. You are way past the casserole, now you are in oatmeal three times a day for at least two weeks,! "  
River wasn't too happy, but when Yas found her dynamite stash, things got even worse. "Tell me why I should not kill you? You are in the biggest..." Yas pulled out a bomb and it was ticking. Hitting a panic button on her belt, a group of specialists burst through the door. Securing the bomb, they also took River. Yas cleaned and organized the cell, taking everything she could find with her. Oh, River was going to get her punishment alright. And UNIT did not take a bomb lightly. Everything else was just destroyed, except the vortex manipulators and chargers.  
Once all was replaced, and everything was clean, Yas waited for River to be released. By the time Donna came on and she had to tell her all about the day, Yas was getting worried. River got in trouble a lot, but whatever they were doing with her, (or to her) Yas and Donna shuddered to think. They hadn't been relieved of duty, so they were still needed. Not wanting to leave, Yas just stayed with Donna. Hoping beyond all hope that River would be back soon, and they could drive her crazy by tucking her in together.  
They waited until the sun came up. Yas had a quick shower and a nap before relieving Donna, who did the same. Both sat on River's cot, drinking coffee and talking. UNIT had best be done soon, or they would have to do something. But just when they were about to give all up for lost, two guards dragged River in. Yas and Donna were relieved to see their inmate again. River did not look so happy, more tired and a little beat up. They were gentle, seeing the fragile state she was in. Hugging her and making a fuss was not a good thing. They didn't ask any questions, that could come later. Right now they helped River into her pajamas and straight to bed.

To say that River was remorseful would be an overstatement. Really, she was just angry her stuff was gone. Did she care  
That it was confiscated? Not entirely. The bomb wouldn't have hurt anyone, it was supposed to go off on a distant planet, destroying all who lived there. She was just waiting for a good time to take it. Whatever UNIT did was of no consequence to her. She could have been electrocuted and it wouldn't have mattered; because River Song was the Doctor's Wife! She didn't care if they hurt her. She was just going to go back to her old ways and they knew it. All they had done this time was a little beating, waterboarding, and sleep deprivation. Nothing she couldn't handle. Of course, Donna and Yas didn't know this, and she was going to milk their sympathy for all it was worth.  
River made sure to look as pathetic as possible for several days, and let them think she was hurt. All the special treatment was great. Extra hot showers, tons of attention, and many naps. But after a few days, she needed things to go back to normal. So she started by making her cell door stick. A little bit of glue swiped from the contraband room, and some chewing gum in the lock was a good start. She got a scolding. "You know better! Stop acting childish!" Was all Donna said. Her next Idea was to use a little force, so in the morning, when Yas went to wake her, she didn't move. Taking her blankets and pillow did nothing, even taking doggy did nothing. Trying a new tactic, Yas left her alone. Why? Was she really giving up on River? Leaving her like this was not nice, and River wanted to know why. This got her out of bed and in the shower. She realized she wasn't the only one with a plan. But hers was better. She hit Yas when breakfast came. "Owwwww! River, that hurt! Don't do that again! "But River paid no attention and hit Yas harder, sending cereal all over the place. "Now look! You got cereal all over! What is wrong with you!?" River was becoming too and suddenly she found a slapper in front of her face. " I know you have experienced this before, and if you would like to get reacquainted with it, I can arrange for that. " River looked at the mean old-fashioned police weapon, the thought of having that much pain sent a shiver down her spine. She never wanted to meet one of those things again. She behaved.

Of course, Yas would never have really have gone through with it, but sometimes being unpredictable was necessary when River Song was your charge. Hitting her would do nothing but start a fight, and the winner would probably be River.   
Letting her gain the upper hand was not ever going to occur. But things did get back to normal, and the thought of the slapper was out of everyone's mind. But it wasn't out of the story. So if you keep on reading, you will see how it is used and who is is used on.


	27. Substitute Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yas is sick, another guard steps in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF VIOLENCE. NOT FOR CHILDREN.

"INMATE! GET UP! GET UP! NOW!" Barked a voice. River knew that voice, it belonged to Officer Shutter, ' Shudder Shutter' as he was called due to his nature making people shudder in fear. He HATED River, now he has the chance to show her just how much. Grabbing her, he shoved her into an ice cold shower, making the water hot then cold and back to normal. Making sure she never knew what the temperature would be next. Sometimes once he deemed her done, he threw her a towel, making sure it got wet. "Oh, that's too bad, you can't even catch a towel. I guess you will just have to get dressed without drying off first. He did let her get dressed in dry clothing, he didn't want anyone to see her in wet clothing.  
Once dressed, he wouldn't let her brush her hair. "I think this is your comb. But, I can't trust you. You just have to use your fingers. River just kept quiet, Yas being sick made her life worse. After she was allowed to brush her teeth, she made her bed. Making sure her cell was spotless. "INMATE! OUT! NOW! Inspection! Shutter entered her cell and looked around, nothing was out of place, until he noticed the bear and rabbit on her bed, and the blanket she got for her birthday. "Well, well, well. What have we here? Contraband isn't allowed! Ooooh, look a journal and pen, he said, removing everything from the cell. You are is huge trouble now! I always wanted to punish you, now I get the chance. He slapped her across the face, sending her reeling. He took off his belt and beat her back from shoulders to feet, causing her to black out.  
Shutter repeatedly punched her, dragged her around by the ears so hard River thought they might come off. He tried to strangle her, not realizing she was part Time Lord and could hold her breath for up to fifteen minutes. Then he threw her around some more. Slamming her face into the bars and giving her two black eyes. He pulled out his slapper and brought it down on the back of her head, causing her to black out. Shutter wasn't done with her, but breakfast just arrived. He told the other guard River wasn't hungry, and didn't want food.  
Once the other guard had left, Shutter got back to beating River. He sprayed mace in her eyes repeatedly, making sure to beat her inbetween. He eventually tired himself out. Now, River could have taken a few hits, punched him back, and  
been fine. But he blindsided her and took her out faster than she could think. It didn't take long for Shutter to gain a second wind, and they were at it again. River would have fought back, but she was tired and in pain. He made sure she knew how he felt about her. Trying to drown her in the toilet, tasering her until he no longer had enough power to do so. Suffocating her with a plastic bag, ripping her clothing. Turning down her food when it came.  
Eventually, Donna came on. Shutter told a tale about a dangerous feral inmate who attacked him and how he fought her off. Showing her the contraband, she said, "I'll take that box, Bud! Thank you!" Donna took the box and paid no attention to his reaction.  
There was a noise from down the hall. It sounded like crying. Shutting the door in his face, Donna took off towards the cell. "Oh, River!" Donna quickly dropped the box and opened the cell door. Looking at River and seeing the handiwork of Bud Shutter, she quickly got help. "It's alright now, you don't have to be scared, I'm right here." Donna soothed. River was taken to see a very worried looking Martha. " You poor dear. Let's get you patched up. " By the time River was popped in a bed, she had a total of two black eyes, a broken nose,four broken ribs, a concussion, a hair line fracture of the skull, a dislocated shoulder, a broken wrist, welts all over her back and legs, and plenty of scratches, bruises, burns.  
"I'm about to get the warden out of bed, can you and the rest of your team take notes and pictures and have someone take her statement. I'll even get the board. Nobody was too happy being called to leave their beds, but upon hearing the news, half of them arrived in their pajamas. The other half, in jeans and old band shirts. Warden Henderson was dressed in a pair of striped pajamas and green bathrobe with leather slippers.  
Seeing the evidence, hearing River's statement, they all went to see River. They were not prepared for Martha Jones M.D. Her patients were like her cubs and she the mother bear. Passing the bear was not a good idea. She turned them all away saying, "Leave my patient alone! This is not a zoo or a freak show. You can come back when I say you can and not a moment before!" The Warden knew better than to cross Martha. If Martha said 'no' then no it was. They would just need to wait.

In the morning, River had to learn how to heal. "This will take patience. You do as I say, and you will heal nicely. Disobey me, and you may find yourself in a lot more pain. So, You are wearing this sling to keep your arm stable. Yes, you are keeping that on. The bandages stay where They are, no picking, unraveling, cutting, or anything else you can think of doing. I'll be looking at them every day, and if I tell you to do something you do it! Welts and bruises I can not really do much about, just take it easy, rest, no reading or writing for at least 24 hours. Now, I think Clara is making pancakes, do you want some? " River nodded.

The Doctor was outraged! How DARE they hire such a guard! She made her way to Stormcage. Walking into the medical wing, she took one look at River and exploded. "MARTHA! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WIFE!?" The Doctor yelled. Martha gave her the rundown , seeing that with every word the Doctor got madder and madder. "Now, Doctor, he was not cleared by UNIT. Somehow he got the guard job. I think he must have made sure he was assigned River. But he is sitting in his own cell now, with a group of people he beat up. I don't think he will hurt anyone again. "  
"There were OTHERS!!!" This drove the Doctor's blood pressure through the roof; and she didn't even have high blood pressure. She didn't bother for any explanation, she just went to see the warden. "River, if this building collapses in the next few minutes, we know why. I think we should see about those pancakes, her rant for the warden should be done by then." Going over to the phone, Martha waited for the Doctor to return. She called Clara and asked for a very special batch of panckes. By the time she was done, the Doctor was back, getting the story from River. " Oh, my poor darling, why didn't you fight back my love? " Knowing the Doctor was not trying to hurt her feelings by asking such a question she answered.  
"He took me by surprise. I never had a chance. If I could have hit him it would have made him madder, and then it would have been worse." "Oh, honey, I wish I could have been there, so I could have stopped it. My love! Knowing she couldn't hug her wife, she took to giving her a kiss on the cheek.  
When the pancakes arrived, River was over joyed to see chocolate chips in them. The Doctor fed her since her own hands were too hurt. The nice thing about this body was that she was gentle and not so clumsy. After breakfast, The Doctor spent time with her wife. Telling her about her adventures. River did the same. After a while, it was time for the Doctor to leave. River never liked goodbyes, but she knew her wife would be back soon to celebrate the Gallifreian New Year.  
Arriving back at her cell a few days later, she saw that everything was perfect. Everything was in place. She was put on her bed and Yas came over "River, I am sorry. I didn't put him in charge, I said Joshua was to watch you. I am so sorry." Poor Yas felt responsible , but she didn't do anything wrong. River said as much, calming her down. They both sat on the cot, talking until Donna said, "Yas, it's kick out time! Go home, I got this.  
Donna spent time with River, playing a game of Dominos. At bed time, River was so tired she was asleep quickly. Everything seemed to be just fine, but it wasn't. In the night, River started crying for Amy. Donna felt so bad for her. She went into the cell and gently woke her up. "River, honey, you need to wake up. It's just a dream, only a dream." When she came around , River was still in tears, Donna just held her gently. River slept the rest of the night.  
Yas came in in the morning and went to wake River. "Alright, River, it's time to get up. Come on, we have lots to do before breakfast." But all she got was a muffled ' no'. River, you have to get up, you need to have your bandages changed. And later on, we will see Martha, alright. So you gotta get up! " When River still didn't move, Yas pulled the pillow off her head. Upon doing so, she was River was crying. "Honey, what's wrong?" She just burrowed into Yas's shoulder and cried. Yes took one look at her, and said "You know what? I think the shower would be the best place to be. You'll feel a little better then. The Doctor left you some goodies for you to use. She said you really like a certain brand and it can only be found on earth in a few places. River perked up and took a nice, long, hot, shower. Yas was right she felt better. The toothpaste, toothbrush and brush set were a great treat. The Doctor even left her a small package marked 'open at lunch', whatever it was, it was bound to be delicious. With a little (tons) of help from Yas, River was able to make her bed and eat her breakfast. The look on River's face when she saw Doggy again made Yas want to share this with the Doctor. With a few nice, big, hugs and a kiss on his nose doggy was put back in his place of honor next to the little toy rabbit. When River had finally 'made' her bed (mostly Yas doing it for her), it was off to see Martha. "River, you look different from the last time I saw you. Most of the bruises have healed nicely, the burns from that taser look nice and pink, I like that. Your X-Ray shows your head has healed, and your arm is free today. I'll get that cast off, and since everything else seems good, I'll remove the bandages from your chest. You'll enjoy not having these on anymore. " Once all was said and done, she was sent back to her cell with the instructions to take it easy for another week and see how she felt. When they got back to the cell, it was almost lunch. On the stroke of noon River opened the gift. Her favorite sandwich! The Doctor remembered to bring it! Oh, it was the best she had eaten in a long time. Not that Clara wasn't a great cook, but nobody made a peanut butter sandwich like the Doctor did. All that was handed over for her was a glass of milk. She relished in this simple yet wonderful treat. " River, it's yard time today. Do you want to go out? " Yas asked. River shook her head and cried. She cried a lot lately, Graham said this would happen, and that she would need therapy at least twice a week to start. He wasn't too fond of seeing her the usual once a week and twice seemed like overkill. But after that attack, she needed it. So Yas was comforting her again. She held her and just let her cry. River cried herself to sleep, and Yas tucked her in. River wasn't feeling so well, and the pain wasn't just physical. So Yas let her sleep for a while. When everything was back to normal, Yas was planning on asking about cleaning up the place. A new coat of paint would be lovely. It would give River a chance to really make the cell her's, even if it was only white paint. And besides, River would have a fun activity for a few days. OH, IT WOULD BE NO PROBLEM MAKING RIVER GET IN THE PAINTING MOOD and if the deer start making cotton candy and the raccoons start working on suntans, the next chapter will be about River and painting


	28. Painting with River: A Mess in the Making

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yas thought this was a good idea why?

"Alright, River, today we are starting to clean our section of Stormcage. And we will start by removing your things so they can't get dirty. We can put them in the corner for now, and put them back when we are done. So, we begin at the top and work our way down. Let's get cleaning!" Yas said enthusiastically. A little TOO enthusiastically for River's taste. "Now use your brush and scrub the wall up and down. Don't forget to dip the brush in the water sometimes." Yas instructed. " I know how to clean a wall, Yas. I had to clean walls a lot as a kid. I enjoyed putting things on the school walls,so I spent quite a bit of time cleaning them. The only difference is that I'm not twelve, and this is not school. The things on the wall well, a little graffiti is not the worst thing, and Missy really is a ******* and ***********************. " "MELODY POND! Language, please! What would Amy say? And what will the Doctor say when she sees the picture of that that I took earlier?" Yas smirked. River and Yas scrubbed the wall so well, they finished the whole thing before Donna arrived. River placed her bedding on the floor so they could do more work in the morning. Donna admired the handiwork, saying it was the cleanest wall she had seen in River's cell. By the time the compliment was given, River was so tired she fell right to sleep. She slept so hard the next thing she knew it was morning. "Are you ready to paint today?" Yas asked, River nodded. This should be fun! The cleaning went well, the painting did not. In two hours River managed to get paint all over Yas. She made sure not to get a spot on herself. By lunch you couldn't tell if the wall was being painted or Yas. River managed to still look spotless. The wall looked pristine, and there were two more and a hallway! Painting River was a nice thought, but that would lead to a paint fight and Yas wasn't going to justify that to anyone. She did get help from Joshua, who took over for a while so she could get changed into clothing that didn't match the wall. By the time she got back, the other walls were done and they were just finishing the hall. "How long was I gone for?" " Not very long, maybe an hour. We almost finished the first coat. " "FIRST COAT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIRST COAT?" Yas yelped. "You need a second coat of paint once this one dries. If you need some help, the guys would gladly come and help." " No, Joshua, thank you. I think I need a jumpsuit. Do We have any I can use? " "Oh, I think I can get you a few, how many?" " Enough for me. I don't have to live covered in paint unless I want to! " Finishing the first coat was simple, but this meant finding a place for River to sleep. "No, you need a space with more ventilation and less wet paint. I also don't trust you not to spoil the job, you are staying with Missy!" Yas announced. River wanted to kill her. But she remembered what happened the last time she killed a guard. Fifteen years in 'The Old Prison' was not a fond memory. So she would just have to swallow her pride, and stay with Missy. "Am I really that irresistible? You just can't keep away from me? I would be flattered if it was anyone other than you. Bring your precious bear with you this time? Good! Because mine needs company." " Hello to you too, Missy. Glad to see you have kept the place sterile. I do enjoy my psych ward clean and tidy, what is it you use? Bleach? Because nothing can make anything more sterile than bleach. And yes, Doggy would love to keep your bear company. Now, I would love some sleep. So thank you for being so accommodating as to allow us to stay with you. " River turned in. Missy really was rather happy to see River again, even if they were still separated, it was nice not being alone. "No! You can't paint yourself, in either context, River. Stop being silly and let's get back to work." Yas said, rounding the hall wall with her brush. River had stopped playing around as much and was working rather hard. They might get this finished by supper at this rate. River behaving was not totally unexpected. She had a chance to have her fun and now she was working very hard. "Yas, do you think Missy gets lonely?" " You have to ask her, and before you ask, NO! You are not getting a cell mate. And if you even could have one, it wouldn't be Missy! Now get back to work. " That ended the conversation. No, Missy wasn't one of River's favorite people. But River felt they could have a mutual hatred of each other while sharing a cell, and live quite happy. "No! River i told you, and besides, the Doctor isn't exactly her biggest fan. You know this now quit thinking about this and get back to work!" "Yes, I know you want to stay in here. But you need to be able to breathe. A night with Missy won't kill either of you. Earlier you wanted to share a cell, now you can't stand her? You are a scientific study waiting to happen. Now good night, we can see about things in the morning." Yas said. In the morning, Yas and River looked at their handiwork. The cell looked brand new! Even the warden was moved to paint the whole place. Until Yas pointed out how dangerous, expensive, and unnecessary it was. A good cleaning would be a safer option. River got her cell back, and after a few words of warning not to spoil the paint by writing things in it, she was able to set up her place again. Everything was perfect, and it was worth all of the effort. River was very sure about that as she drifted off.


	29. Tantrum

"River, it's time to get up! Rise and shine!" Yas said. River didn't budge. "River! Get up! It's time to start the day!" Yas tried again. Not a twitch of understanding. " River! I mean it! Get up NOW! " Still nothing. Yas was getting concerned, was she okay? Did something happen during the night? "RIVER SONG! GET UP NOW!" She yelled , running into the cell to take her pulse. When she was slapped, Yas breathed a sigh of relief. River was alive, that was for sure. "C'mon you! Time to get up. Did Donna keep you up last night? Or maybe the notes are a better way to see what was up?" She had already see those notes and knew River had been sound asleep by her usual eleven thirty. Donna had no desire to keep her up all night. River had tried on a few occasions , and the next day had always been a disaster. Yas had had enough! She grabbed River by the ear and dragged her out of bed and into the shower.  
"That hurt!" River was unhappy, that was obvious, but she wasn't upset about being pulled into the bathroom. She was more annoyed about that, but not upset. "HEY! STOP THAT! I already had my shower, and my clothing is clean. River! Stop getting me wet! INMATE! TAKE YOUR SHOWER AND STOP SOAKING ME!" River could tell Yas meant business, but she didn't care. When Yas threated to push her panic button, River took her shower.

When River was placed back in her cell she was all nice and dry and in clean clothes. Yas was sopping wet. Calling Joshua in, she went to change. When she got back, Joshua left, saying "River was absolutely perfect."  
Yas groaned. Now that she was back River gave up her charade. Make the bed? No, or course not. River threw the bed clothes around her cell. Eating breakfast? Nope! Not that either. Oatmeal covered the wall. "Inmate, you will clean this mess up NOW!" Yas said. River pretended not to hear.  
In the next five minutes she put her sheets in the sink and toilet, flooding her cell. Tried yanking the bars off their hinges, and smeared toothpaste all over the walls. Yas had enough by the time River ripped apart her pillow. "MELODY POND! Stop this right now!" She commanded. All that got her was some very nasty words. "You *****! I'll do what I want! You can't tell me what to do! **** ******! " "Melody Pond, You seem to forget who is in charge here. Me, not you! Don't you DARE try to hurt me!" Yas told her, when River tried to take a swipe at her.   
What was wrong? River was usually better behaved than this. Did she do something? Say something? Did Donna? The Doctor? It wasn't a special day, all those were in her file. She had a good night's sleep, no nightmares. So why was she acting like this? Maybe she had an illness from her last trip? No, UNIT tested her every week whether she liked it or not. But that was two days ago, she wasn't needed for another week. Nothing seemed to fit the bill. Maybe she was just having a bad day.  
By this time, she had ripped her mattress apart and was throwing it around, the last straw came when she threw herself to the ground and cried. They weren't tears of anger, more like a deep unrelenting heartache. A cry of defeat, of utter loneliness and despair. A cry grief, of a loss so great it was impossible to fix. A cry of abandonment.  
"Why, River what's wrong?" Yas asked, entering the cell and picking her up off the floor.   
"I c-c-can't d-d-d-do i-i-it!" She sobbed. "What can't you do, honey?" " Ca-ca-carry out this sentence! " She sobbed. I w-w-w-will be here long after you die. The Doctor will change, and where will I be? Here, stuck in this cell. I want to go home to the TARDIS! " She cried harder than Yas thought possible. Escaping is great, but you have no idea what it's like living here for multiple lifespans. You can go home to your family anytime, my only family is the Doctor. And I never know when she will come back. "  
"Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry. I never thought how much you must hurt." Yas hugged her, held her in her arms until the tears subsided. "Why don't we clean this mess up, and you can take a nap, I have a good idea that you didn't sleep well." So, they cleaned the cell, starting with the debris from the mattress and pillow before moving on to the sheets and walls. Last they cleaned the floor, and Yas brought in a new mattress, pillow, and bedding. Once everything was repaired, Yas put River in bed for a nap.   
Once Lunch was over, River went back to bed. She was worn out. Yas came in and made sure she was okay, tucking her in. She did look very tired, and sad. Yas cuddled her for a while, and River slept in her arms.   
When she filled out the report, Yas left out the tantrum. They would know what happened and it would go in her file, but it wouldn't cause any problems. Nobody could blame her for her actions, they couldn't know how harsh this sentence was. So they let it go. They did know one thing, River would be okay.


	30. The Doctor sleeps over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor decides to spend the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no sex in this chapter. This is about a sleepover with the Doctor.

River was getting dizzy. She had no idea how many times she had rolled down the hill. It was fun spending the day with the Doctor. Sitting up and taking a break, she took a moment to catch her bearings. The Doctor joined her. "Are you okay, River?" " Yes, Sweetie, I'm fine. I just need to regain some equilibrium. A good rest helps. " River looked contented. She loved her wife, she had beautiful surroundings, and this day was amazing.  
When River was whisked off in the TARDIS this morning, she didn't think she would be doing this. But it was really fun. Rolling down hills was great as a kid, but this place had a sprawling landscape of lush, green, grassy, gently rolling hills. It was perfect for it, it was begging for it, they both spent hours rolling down the soft grass. Neither cared their clothing was dirty, it was just fun.  
The next stop was to have some lunch. It took a while to find a place. Their first choice had a coup starting and that was not helpful. The second had an outbreak of something nasty. The third had closed. And the fourth was about to be demolished. They made sandwiches and ate them in a park.  
The rain poured, getting them covered in sand and dirt as they played in the mud. By the time they made it back to Stormcage they were worn out. A rule had been implemented, if they got dirty, they had to shower and change before leaving the TARDIS. They adhered to that rule regardless of what they did. When the Doctor tried to leave the TARDIS was not having it. She was too tired from all that travel. "I'm sorry, Doctor, but I think you might end up sleeping here while she recharges herself. I'll get you some things." After some supper and a few hands of poker which River won, making the Doctor pay her four packets of jelly babies, it was almost time for bed. Knowing the Doctor and River would probably like to sleep in the TARDIS, Donna thought that would be okay for one night. Yas said that the rules made sure the only sleeping arrangement when the Doctor visited and spent the night was in the cell. Usually they slept on the cot, but Donna found a spare mattress and placed it right next to River's. Both got into bed and spent a few hours catching up and synching their timelines. Once the clock struck eleven, both were tucked in bed, sound asleep. The Doctor was a huge cuddler and spent quite a bit of time cuddling River. Donna found this cute. River didn't seem to mind for a while. She did steal the Doctor's pillow and beat her over the head a few times. But apparently this was normal as the Doctor just let her and made no noise. River started throwing things off the bed as usual. When she got to the Doctor a hand touched hers saying "shhhh. You don't want to throw me out, my love." She pulled her wife in for a long cuddle. The night passed quickly, and before anyone knew it, the Doctor had to go. The TARDIS was ready, she had said her goodbyes and was off. River never liked this part, but she knew she would be with her wife again. And that made all the trouble she went to making sure the TARDIS wouldn't leave until the morning worth it.


	31. River's kitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River needs a new friend to keep her company and occupy her time. A kitten sounds like the ideal pet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Calico cats aren't very nice, they truly are unpredictable and relatively mean. That's just the personality they tend to have. But they are also loving, and enjoy play. They are the quintessential "everything is on my terms" cat. If anyone has ever owned one or spent any time around one, they know this. (I lived with one for many years )

River was bored, she didn't get to interact with other inmates. Many thought she didn't exist. The only people she saw were Yas and Donna, Martha and Graham. Occasionally she was Joshua, and on rare occasions Missy. The Doctor popped in every now and then, but not enough to call it anything more than a visit. So she was very lonely, and becoming increasingly depressed. This was noticed and Graham suggested a pet cat. She would never have to give it up, and she would have someone to play with for many years.  
So Yas set out to find a kitten. The shelter had just what she wanted. She asked River what type of kitten she would like. River said she would be happy with any kitten. So, Yas had a tough decision to make. When she saw a little calico, she knew it was for River. The unpredictable nature of calico cats and the propensity for being mean was just what River would desire.  
Once all the supplies were bought, and the kitten brought to Stormcage, everything settled down some. River was allowed to take charge, filling bowls and boxes, placing bed,toys and post where they belonged. She even attached a little red collar around its neck. "What are you going to call her?" Yas asked. "How do you know it's a girl?" River asked. " All calico cats are girls. It's very rare to have a male. Very, very,rare. " Was the answer. "Then I think I'll call you...Cuddles." " Then Cuddles it is! Welcome to Prison, Cuddles. I think we forgot your mugshots and number. " Yas joked.  
River played with her new friend for a while, until Cuddles dropped off to sleep on the rug the Doctor had recently given her. Leaving her to sleep, River read the books on cats and kittens Yas had bought her. Yas was thankful she got to use River's money for this and not her own. It wasn't her kitten after all.

"Come on, Cuddles, breakfast time." River said, giving her fresh water and a special mixture of food. The little kitten came over, and devoured the dish of cat food. River was surprised a kitten could eat so much. This little kitten had an appetite. "River, if she can eat her breakfast, you need to eat yours. Please, that granola isn't going to eat itself. If it did, I would like to see that! But you need to eat it! If Cuddles can, you can. And I know you like granola." Yas said. So River ate her breakfast, she was not going to be out done by a ten week old kitten.  
River was amazed at how her kitten knew what to do. No need to litter train or any teaching necessary. How did she know how to act? "Yas. How does she know how to use the box and clean herself? I didn't teach her." " River, her mother taught her those things and many more. That's what mother cats do. " River never thought about a mother cat. She had babies and they were taken from her without consent. Now River had taken one of those babies! She was a monster! She was becoming Madam Kovarian. River started to cry. "Take it back, please! I took it from its mother, I really am a monster!" She cried.  
"Oh! No, no, no, no, no! River, you are not a monster! You didn't kidnap it. This is nothing like what happened to you! No! I'm so sorry! I never meant to give you that impression. When cats have babies it's different. They aren't expected to stay around to grow up. They don't need their mother after a few weeks. She trains them then they are given to other people. The mother doesn't mind because she has already taught them all she can. So you are now in charge of her. See? She doesn't mind, it gives her a chance to relax, the kitten doesn't mind because they don 't feel the same things as humans do. Cuddles will grow up in a place where she can have a good life with good people. Okay? "  
River took a few moments to think about this. Cuddles didn't need her mother anymore, she wasn't upset by it, she didn't seem to miss her. This was the life of the cat. If it was alright with Cuddles, it was alright with her. She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked around for her friend. Cuddles was in her basket sound asleep. "She sure does sleep a lot." River said. " That's because she's still a baby, she needs the sleep. All babies do this. You did, I did, the Doctor did, every dog, cat, and human does. Not to mention many other animals. Many are the same like that. We just happen to age slower and need our parents longer, we also need more care as babies and small children. Even the Doctor was small once. Her mother raised her, taught her to walk, talk, dress, eat, use a potty chair. Can you imagine a little Doctor? " River tried, It was funny to think of a little Doctor in a diaper, playing with a rattle or whatever Time Tots played with. She started to laugh, a baby Time Lord being placed in a playpen with the Master was very funny. Fighting over toys, hitting each other with rattles. It was too much. Oh, it was too funny. A tiny sonic screw driver that rattled and a toy TARDIS and bowtie, River didn't think she could ever face Missy of the Doctor again! Cuddles grew very fast,it seemed like she was a kitten one day, then a young cat the next. This was when Yas said something about her visiting the vet. "What do you mean get her fixed? She isn't broken, is she?" River asked, slightly concerned she did something wrong. "No! I mean they are going to make sure she can't have kittens of her own. That's all. You wouldn't want to be around if she went into heat." So, off to the vet Cuddles went. And back she came in the evening. " She is still groggy and needs to be quiet for a few days so she can heal, but she will be just fine. Once recuperated, Cuddles went back to being herself. She was a typical calico, she lived on her terms. Nobody told her what to do. River learned that it was not a good idea to pick her up or pet her unless she wanted it. If River got too close she might get a good swipe. But she loved her cat. They played together, ate together, and even slept together sometimes. Cuddles even allowed Yas and Donna a pet on rare occasions. And on even rarer occasions she chose their laps. Yes, Cuddles fit in perfectly. She even enjoyed talking with the Doctor, who apparently knew cat. Everything and everyone loved and hated that cat. River would bring back treats when she visited earth, and stories when she went elsewhere. She spent so much time with the cat, nobody heard "I'm bored" in a very long time. Cuddles kept River happy, occupied, and less temperamental. Life was good with a cat, even in Stormcage, a cat made life better.


	32. Fistfight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missy and River go at it like nothing seen before.

Missy had (finally) been given yard time. She was the happiest psycho in Stormcage. (She was the only psycho in Stormcage, but that's besides the point.) Graham and Martha agreed she could benefit from some sun and fresh air. Even a little rain would be good. Fifteen minutes twice a week was a good start. If she behaved, they might add more time. Missy was delighted, she hadn't seen the outside world in years. The birds didn't chirp in psych, the weather didn't change, the seasons didn't change. Nothing ever changed, so this was great. Instructions were given that yard time began once the door shut behind her and she was outside. Not when she left her cell, not when she was told to get ready, when the door was shut behind her. And vice versa. 

River was excited, she had yard time today. She had been really good, beyond really good. Because today was a beautiful day, and she just knew she would enjoy it. These were the days she counted on, nice, sunny, bird chirping, mild weather, puffy clouds, and green grass type of day! When she said Cuddles might like to come, Yas said "No. She would not. She is an indoor cat, and it would scare her if you took her out. She may run and not come back. Before you say it, no, she would not like a harness and leash. She has never had one, and she won't want one now. She can stay in her bed where she currently sleeps, and you can tell her all about your time when you get back." With that, River was handed her jacket and put outside. 

Somehow, things got mixed up, as they often do in life. Both River and Missy had yard time that day. Unfortunately, someone forgot that those times don't coincide with each other, and never should. That day both were put out together. They had never been together outside the psych ward. At least not while they were here. Sure, they had known each other before, but they had hated each other then too. This was the first time they would see each other without a barrier between them.

River locked eyes with Missy as soon as she came out. 'What was she doing out here? She wasn't supposed to be out here ever. How dare she interrupt yard time.' River of her best foot forward, she wasn't going to lose yard time just because of an interloper. "Missy, I didn't think you got out much, or ever." " New rules, River. Didn't you hear? I get fifteen minutes twice a week. Oh, the day is beautiful. I almost forgot what sunshine looked like. Care to take a walk, dear? " "Sweetie, I never thought you'd ask." 

Walking outside felt wonderful. Missy didn't realize what she was missing. The grass was soft, the sun bright. She felt like a whole new Time Lord. Grass should be green, not red like on Gallifrey."So, you got a cat I hear. Same nature as you, looks nice until the claws come out." " True, but she isn't a bad bed warmer.and companion. How is your fish" "Just fine, he is very entertaining, swimming in his bowl. I at least have a living thing to talk to. They set him up so I can care for him, but I can't move his bowl or take him out.

Now how is your husband, er, wife now? I haven't seen her since she wore those stupid glasses and played that annoying guitar. Has she finally been killed by the Daleks? Or did my Cybermen do the job? Maybe she did herself in, you being in here must take a toll. Perhaps she just hated being married to you and just left for another person. It happens." " She is perfectly fine! And we are happy together! " River replied curtly. "I'm sure you are. Tell me, is the sex still good? I mean, are you satisfied? Or do you need to go elsewhere for satisfaction?" " What are you toying at, Missy? " "Your wife has never been a woman. Oh, she's been with plenty. I don't want to think how many others she has had. But been with one as one? No! She probably became a woman so she could be satisfied by a person who was better at it than you. You are here for killing her, are you not? The Doctor just goes elsewhere when she has an itch. How could she possibly want to be with you?"

That was the last straw. River slugged Missy so hard, she went reeling onto the pathway. Regaining control, Missy punched River. In a moment, they were trying to kill each other. River scratched Missy's face, trying to gouge her eyes out. Missy bit River, ripping her clothing. By the time the guards came and broke them up, both had really done a number on each other. 

While bandaging their scrapes and cuts and bruises, Martha gave them a lecture. "You are both adults! Yet you act like children! The yard is a privilege, not a right. You both know this. This was by clerical error, I won't take Your time away. But I am cutting it for the rest of the week. And I will be present when they make the schedules next week.

Once they had been given enough lectures they felt like small children, they were finally in their cells, not wanting to talk to anyone. Both spent the rest of the day licking their wounds. Everyone knew something must be done about these two. Nobody could think of what. When a board member said, "Put them in the same cell and let them have at it. A neutral cell, both inmates, the would have to learn to control themselves. And they stay there until they can get along.

 

So if the the trees start growing ice cream cones, and it snows during the fourth of July fireworks, the next chapter will be about Missy and River being put together.


	33. The Cell, The Crazy woman, and The Assassin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, how well will this plan work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bold letters sometimes stand in for italics. I don't have that function on my device.

"INMATE! GET UP, NOW!" The guard barked, waking Missy out of her sleep. He blindfolded her, chaining her too tightly. Missy was still half asleep and didn't know what was happening. Those shackles hurt, but what was she to say, she couldn't even find her voice. A moment later she was being marched somewhere. 

"River, you need to get up, NOW!" Donna didn't wait for a reply, she just pulled River out of bed and blindfolded her. River had no idea what was happening, what did she do? Was it that bad? Donna started on the shackles. Being gentle, she made sure to only tighten them as much as needed, causing undue pain wasn't her plan. "Alright, we need to go now!" Donna said, gently leading River out of the cell.

When Missy and River were unchained, they were still too sleepy to understand anything. "Hold out your wrists." Both sighed as the metal bands were applied, instantly locking into place. Monitors, the cruel kind. One final shove into the cell, and the door locked behind them. Looking around, they took in their new surroundings. Two sleeping mats, two pillows, two blankets. Not a promising start. A small sink etched into the wall, and a toilet, along with a few incidentals finished the bleak picture. Still too groggy to realize what had just happened, they just pulled out the mats and fell back asleep.

A few hours later, they woke up. Upon seeing each other, it finally hit home just how real this was. They hadn't been dreaming at all, this was reality! Too shocked to say anything, River slowly got up and went over to the sink. Splashing water into her face to make sure she truly was not dreaming. She wasnt. "Okay, Missy,I think we have done something really bad!" "Oh, you don't say! THAT'S OBVIOUS YOU MORON!" Missy replied, rather peeved by River's statement. "Alright idiot, we might as well face it, we are in a room with no way of breaking out. Taking the bracelet off our wrists will do nothing but make us regret ever touching it." River retorted. "Well, isn't that just GREAT! Stuck here, with you! Did they say how long? Or was that part omitted?" " I don't know! I was about as awake as you were! " "Fine! But when do we get food? Shower? I'm not spending time with you if we don't have showers! And clean clothing? How are we getting that? Bedsheets? We need plenty of those. You still changing the sheets every night? Or did Donna finally make you wear diapers?" " Ouch! That's painful, Missy! I haven't wet the bed in.... Three days! And yes Donna has given me some special knickers. They work very well. In my defense, I was sent to Torchwood about four weeks ago. " Missy shuddered. She had done a few rounds with Jack and Ianto. She completely understood. " Sorry about the joke. He is a jerk. And don't even get me started on Ianto! Oh, he only seems nice, but he is the brains of the horrible punishment. I think he just got bored of being Jack's boy toy and wanted to add some fun. Even those horrid monsters they keep need exercise and chasing us is funny. Being able to bet on the odds of the inmate winning is entertaining. When I got back the last time, I wet the padded floor for so long, those knickers became a part of my nightly routine for three months. Not the worst thing, or the best. But I don't spend my mornings scrubbing a padded floor anymore. Do you know just how horrible the smell of bleach is? It doesn't go away! " After some more commiserating, a guard reached in, grabbed Missy like she was a broom, and yanked her out of the cell. One unbearable freezing shower later, she was back in the cell an River was dragged out. By the time they had both gone through this misery, breakfast was served. Not a pleasant one either. Two bowls of what could have been food, or what could have been meant for animal consumption. It was white, mushy, and ...warm? Nervously, Missy tasted the substance. It was good! When she went for another spoonful, River took a bite. It was good. Really good! When they asked what it was they were told "Cream of Wheat." Well, if they got fed that every day , it would be just fine by them. "What are we supposed to do? Talk to each other for the next... However long they leave us here? Start swingin' at each other? Knock a few teeth out? Try to kill each other? or ourselves? If they want us to get along they should supply us with things that we can get along with! While I would love to kill you, or myself depending on my mood, I'm too bored for even that!" Missy said. "Would it kill them to give us a deck of cards? We really can't do much with those! Or how about some chalk? Huh? We could draw naughty pictures and play hang man! Come on! I know someone is listening. Hey whoever is watching us! Give us a break here! Either you give us something to do, or we'll just have to bang each other." River called. That got a response. In less than four minutes, a note appeared. 'If you try anything you will regret it. No, You get nothing. Not a single piece of chalk. ' Neither were happy. Not that they would ever actually have sex with each other. Or even masturbate near each other. They felt cheated out of a game of hangman. The note was on a piece of paper. Maybe they could get more paper that way. Then they could at least find something to do. Missy knew what River was thinking, and she tried making a fuss an hour later. "River, do you want to play strip bingo? " "Missy, we have no bingo cards or anything." " That won't stop us! " That was a far as she got before another note was slipped in. 'No stripping ' it said. Now they had something to play with. They couldn't make paper airplanes, they had no where to fly them. No place to float boats either. But the possibilities of making their own fun was good enough. After they were out of ideas, the guards finally relented and gave them a crayon and paper. This was appreciated by both inmates. Until "it's my turn to use the crayon!" "You can't have it! I don't want to give it up yet." "You're using all of it! Don't press so hard! " "I'll make sure you can't use it again." River finally had enough and jumped on Missy. Making sure to punch her in the eye. Missy grabbed River's throat but was surprised when she got an elbow in the kidney. Both beat each other until they were too tired to fight anymore. Falling into an exhausted, beaten, heap, they just couldn't take it anymore. Both lay there and said nothing, when suddenly, Missy laughed. Not her usual laugh, but a real honest to goodness laugh. "We are over several centuries old, and we are fighting over a crayon! Small children fight over crayons, not adults! Oh, this is too funny! " River started to laugh too. Two women who should act like adults are fighting over a child's play thing. Oh, that made the whole thing funny. Both laughed until their aching sides felt like they might fall off. By bedtime, River was becoming upset. "Where is doggy? I don't have doggy!" Her lip quivered. "Look, why don't you hold my hand. If it lets me sleep, I don't mind." Missy said, wanting to sleep and not deal with River's crying. River was appreciative of the gesture . Missy even found it comforting to have someone touch her gently, nobody ever did that. The guards were rough on a good day. She couldn't remember the last time someone was gently holding her hand. It must have been her youngest daughter. She loves to hold hands with daddy whenever they were out. She was cute in her pigtails and little dresses. Oh, how she loved her dresses, and her dolls. Other children would be playing games and running around but she would be playing with her dolls. Missy regretted her life choices sometimes, especially when she thought of her family. But her decisions could not be undone. The decisions that drove her insane were not of her choosing, they were forced upon her as a small child. She was a product of the Time Lords. But right now, she had someone treating her kindly, even if it was only for a short while. A few weeks later, they were allowed out. They had no reason to fight for a while, they had worn themselves out with fighting. Now they were just too exhausted from being together all the time. Back in their cells they could have kissed the ground they were so happy. Missy almost hugged the guards, but thought better of it. River picked up Cuddles and held her, not caring about the meowing and scratches. She was so happy to see her cat. Cuddles was happy to see her too, even if it meant a little hugging and kissing from her human. She wouldn't leave River alone for a while week. Not that she allowed much petting. When Cuddles tried to follow her into the shower, River just had to laugh. "I don't think you want a bath, sweetie, but you can keep the cell safe." She said. Missy enjoyed seeing her fish again. Mr. Bubbles was safe in his bowl, just as she left him. She thanked the guards for looking after him. Things were looking up. She and River would have their yard time together, they both had their cells back, and Missy had been granted the privilege of being allowed visits from the Doctor. Yes, things were getting a little bit brighter in the lives of River and Missy. River snuggled down with doggy tucked under her arm, no longer embarrassed to have him. Missy was also curled up with her bear, both were sound asleep, and neither had anything to be embarrassed about. THE END


	34. Epilogue.

It had been many lifetimes that River had lived in that cell. Many guards had come and gone, Cuddles had long since passed. She didn't want another cat after that. It had been a few hundred years since Yas and Donna retired, the only living person was Jack. She had no liking for him anyway. The warden had many faces over time, female, male, tall, short, old, young, dark skinned, light skinned and every shade inbetween. Some were strict, some didn't care, and some were just right. But all had stories of River. 

Today, River was leaving Stormcage, through the front door, free. She smiled as she met her wife. Walking into the TARDIS she whispered "Hello, sweetie, I'm home."

Missy was packing her things too. She was going away, just not like River. She knew she would never be free of this Monster created by the Time Lords. She sighed, she was headed for a different kind of prison. A nicer one UNIT controlled. She would have a regular floor, a window, and her own cot. There would be more therapy than she got here, but interaction would be nice. She would even be able to sleep in the dark. She didn't remember what darkness was like. They even had a place for her fish, Daisy. 

Missy was so happy she left with a small smile on her face. Her new home was everything and then some.  
Daisy had a place in a bigger bowl with other fish. Missy had a real cell for the first time in a long while, and better uniforms. The floor wasn't made of protective mats, it was just a floor, nothing fancy. The walls were real, nobody could see her. She controlled the lights, and even the sight of her own cot made her want to weep. Yes, the place was still a prison, the rules were strict, and unforgiving. But after all those years in a Plexiglas cell with a padded floor anything else seemed like heaven. 

Curling up in a bed was strange, and laying in the darkness was even stranger. "Guard?" She called. " What is it inmate? " "Are you sure it's okay for me to turn on the lights if I want to?" " Yes, inmate. " "And I can use the toilet anytime I want?" " Yes, inmate, that's what it's there for. " "Guard" " What's your name? " "Amy and if you want to know anything else, ask me while I am here." " No thanks, Amy. Oh can you help me find my bear? A friend gave him to me long ago, and I like to have him at night. " "Oh, it's right here on top of your dresser. Funny, it looks a little like the one Rory and I gave our daughter for her birthday last year." "Oh, and what's your daughter's name?" "Melody Pond, but she prefers to go by River Song." Now, go to sleep. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anybody up for a sequel about Missy?


End file.
